Body Language: What To Look For on a First Date

Body Language: What To Look For on a First Date

In the world of first dates, where everything’s filled with mystery, body language is perhaps the biggest and most powerful communicator of all. The way we hold ourselves, the way we engage in conversation—everything we do with our body is, quite literally, talking for us. Which is why all of that begs one question: What body language signs am I supposed to look for on a first date?

It’s natural to want to break down every little thing—Did that slight head tilt mean they were listening, or were they being condescending? Did they lean into me, or were they just worried about not making a mess as they bit into their food? Although there may not always be a clear-cut response from your date 100% of the time, learning how to read body language can help tremendously when navigating the dating scene.

Learning the different body language signs to look for on a first date can make the experience a little less scary, and save you a lot of time and energy. Keep on reading to learn the 11 body language signs to look for on a first date.


Body language: what to look for on a first date:

body language to look for on a first date

1. They lean in

If your date is leaning into you, this means that they’re interested in you and what you have to say; they’re also fully engaged in the convo. It’s also a sign that they want to both learn and hear more from and about you.

2. They maintain good eye contact

Good eye contact can lead to a strong emotional intimacy. If your date is maintaining good eye contact, not only does it mean they’re listening and interested, but it also means that they want to get closer to you as well. It’s also a sure sign that your date is present, which is a good thing. If it seems like they’re struggling with making good eye contact due to nerves, try to cut them some slack; some people are better at it than others.

body langauge to look for on a first date

3. They’re fidgeting and avoiding eye contact

On the other hand, someone who’s uncomfortable is going to have more difficulty sitting still and keeping their eyes locked on yours. If your date’s fidgeting and looking at everything else but you, they’re probably uncomfortable and looking for a way out. Constantly looking towards the door is also another example of this. Basically: If they’re looking at everything else but you, it’s a red flag.

4. Their body and face is open and warm

A relaxed posture (think: arms at your sides or in your lap or on the table), genuine smile, and friendly face are all good body language signs. So if your date’s body and face is open and warm, that’s a good thing! This is a sign that they’re trying to welcome you into their life and put you at ease; which will help the date run smoother. Likewise, it also means they want to get to know you more and see where this could go.

5. They’re tongue-tied

We all know what it’s like to experience those notorious first date jitters. If your date’s tongue-tied, try to put them at ease by keeping your posture and tone relaxed and welcoming. And if they stumble over their words, reassure them that it’s no big deal and laugh it off together. Putting your date at ease like this will help them shake off those nerves and really get the date going.

body language to look for on a first date

6. Their posture is rigid and they look uncomfortable

Rigid posture, short, jerky movements, and sweating profusely are all signs that they’re uncomfortable. Their body is subconsciously talking for how they feel inside. For some reason, they want to end the date ASAP.

7. They’re leaning away

Sadly, there’s no way to sugarcoat this. Someone who’s not feeling a connection is more likely to lean away from you rather than lean in to you. If your date has their arms crossed or is angling their body away from you, they’re trying to create a barrier between you and them.

8. They really listen to you

Nothing’s worse than feeling like you’re talking to a wall. A date who nods along as you’re talking, maintains eye contact, and engages in the conversation using words or facial expressions is a good sign. This means that they’re really hearing you out, and listening to what you have to say.

body language to look for on a first date

9. They’re rushing the convo

Constantly interrupting you or repeatedly telling you they missed what you were saying mean that their mind is elsewhere. Through their body language, they’re inadvertently trying to rush the convo. Getting that faraway look on their face while you’re talking is also another sign of this. Of course, there will be times when things weigh heavier on your mind than others (think: big work deadline, a sick relative, etc.). However, someone whose mind is genuinely preoccupied will usually give you the heads-up out of common courtesy.

10. There’s a light, playful touch

Intimacy is usually first formed from touch, which is why is why any light, playful touch is a great sign of interest. When you’re meeting someone for the first time, hugging is a good idea—it’s a date, not a job interview! This will open up the door for more touch throughout, and how the hug feels might be an indicator of whether or not this will work. Gently taking or squeezing your hand from across the table or placing their hand on the small of your back are also good signs. And if you want to open up the door for some light, playful touch, try keeping your hands within reaching distance (like flat on the table).

body language to look for on a first date

11. They mirror your behavior

If you lean in and your date leans in, that’s a good sign! Just like leaning in after your date does is as well. Mirroring each other’s behavior is a sure way to establish a connection faster, and means that you’re both on the same page.

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15 Comments

  1. September 12, 2021 / 8:50 pm

    Good write-up, I’m regular visitor of one’s website, maintain up the nice operate, and It’s going to be a regular visitor for a long time.

  2. April 11, 2022 / 1:43 pm

    This is good to send to the youth to prepare them for that section of life. Thank you for this.

    • April 11, 2022 / 5:50 pm

      Very true—hopefully it can help them navigate the dating world better! Thanks for reading!

  3. April 11, 2022 / 10:00 pm

    I think body language is important , good article

    • April 12, 2022 / 1:48 pm

      It definitely is! Thank you for reading, glad you enjoyed!

  4. April 11, 2022 / 11:55 pm

    These are some interesting lists of body language to observe even in social settings. With the Me Too Movement, men are becoming more reserved with playful touching. Great read.

    • April 12, 2022 / 1:50 pm

      Thank you! You’re right, that definitely is happening. A light touch on the arm may be a good way to play it safe. Thank you for reading!

  5. April 12, 2022 / 2:44 am

    These are all some really great tips to look for, great post!
    – Titra

    • April 12, 2022 / 1:50 pm

      Thank you so much, it’s great to hear that! Thank you for reading, glad you enjoyed!

  6. April 13, 2022 / 7:16 am

    Eye contact is everything! Though not in a creepy way with uncomfortable staring. I believe this is true of dates as well as people in general. Another sign I watch for is if they are obsessively preoccupied with their phones. This screams “RED FLAG” to me.

    • April 14, 2022 / 12:18 am

      Omg yes constantly looking down or being preoccupied with their phone is a MAJOR red flag! And so rude! You’re so right about eye contact—it is everything, and communicate so much! Thanks for reading!

  7. April 17, 2022 / 1:52 pm

    im now happily married, but I love all the signs and looking back I see all the good ones that led to my marriage. Great article!!

    • April 17, 2022 / 5:55 pm

      Thank you so much! It’s great that you were able to take a little trip down memory lane and recognize the signs that led you to your marriage. Wishing you a lifetime of love and happiness!!!

  8. September 24, 2022 / 11:13 am

    nice topic , i love it

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