5 Reasons You Should Be Alone After a Breakup

Breakups—no matter how amicable, whether or not it was the right decision, if it ended tragically, or was a one-sided rejection—are hard. You go from having someone by your side, sharing your life and most intimate moments, thoughts and feelings with them, to nothing. Of course, it’s natural to want a distraction from it all; it can be extremely difficult to sit with an array of powerful emotions. Even still, though: You should absolutely be alone after a breakup.

Breakups are hard, and while some distractions like diving into work or a new hobby can be productive and very good for you, other ones are not. Distracting yourself with someone new is not going to be productive at all, and it’s actually going to backfire on you in the long run.

Being alone after a breakup is the only way you can truly heal and move on. Is it hard? Yes. But is it worth it? Absolutely.

The truth is, taking the time to care for and heal yourself is crucial. Once you’ve done that, you’ll truly be ready for new things to come into your life sooner than you think. Keep reading to learn the 5 reasons you should be alone after a breakup.

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Why You Should Be Alone After a Breakup:

1. Can’t grieve properly with someone else

In life, it’s important to mourn all losses, and the loss of a relationship is no different. You need to mourn the loss of your relationship, and you can’t do that if you’re distracting yourself with someone new. Admittedly, grief, in all forms, is tough. That said, it’s important that you feel and experience each of them in order to move on. If you don’t grieve properly, there will always be an invisible tether tying you to the past.

Giving yourself the space and time to grieve on your own is crucial before jumping into a new relationship. This is all part of the healing process, and though it can be painful, it can also be incredibly insightful, too. It can help you uncover truths and lessons about your previous relationship, and show you what you want moving forward.

2. Being alone lets you understand your emotions

Being alone gives you the opportunity to identify the source of your emotions and the ways in which the relationship has affected you. Why are you so bothered by something so small? Why are you feeling angry at this moment in time? Understanding where these feelings are coming from will be extremely beneficial to you in the long run, and lead to more self-discovery and growth.

Related: 10 Tips To Help You Start Dating Again After a Breakup

3. Better understand how the relationship changed you

All relationships will change you, and understanding these changes is imperative. What have you taken from this relationship, what have you learned? After a relationship ends, you may find yourself lashing out towards others in a way you never have before; this sort of behavior comes from the effect the relationship has had on you. Why are you acting out this way, why are you walled up in ways you never were before? Getting a better understanding of your emotions will help with this as well.

4. Best growth is done alone

It is in times of solitude that we all grow as individuals. Taking the time to sit with your thoughts, work through, and digest them will open up the door for more self-growth. Think about it: If you don’t take the time alone to grow as a person and learn who you are and what you want, how can you expect to find true happiness?

In addition, being alone after a breakup can help you discover things about yourself that aren’t even directly related to the breakup and relationship. This kind of growth will only bring good things into your life, but you will not receive them if you don’t take time alone.

5. Only way to heal properly

The door for new and better things to come into your life will not be opened if you don’t let yourself heal properly. Masking wounds rather than acknowledging and dealing with them will keep you tethered to the past; the past will not let go of you if you do not deal with it in all of its ugly, beautiful, and tragic forms.

Take the time to be alone; really sit with all your thoughts and emotions, ask yourself what they’re trying to tell you subconsciously. Doing self-care practices like journaling, deep breathing, meditation, or taking nature walks can be very helpful with this. Anything that nourishes your soul is always good, too.

Healing alone will give you a newfound strength unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. It’s difficult, yes, but it is so worth it in the end. It’s the only way to bring yourself true happiness.