Relationships: how to bring you closer together

All relationships in life take work. When you want to be successful at anything, you put in the time and effort; so it only makes sense that in order to have a thriving relationship, you’d have to make an effort, also. Yet while relationships do take work, it isn’t something that you should be stressed or worried about. In fact, I believe that there are ways that are efficient and easy and can bring you and your partner closer together. Below I’ve outlined little tips and tricks to bring you and your partner closer together in the most flawless way possible.

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Find a show to start and watch together

Television is great because it’s practically universal—when you meet someone, if you both watch the same series you already have something in common and something to bond over. I love binge watching shows with my boyfriend because it feels like something just for the two of us, and also opens up the pathway for more to talk about. We’ll find ourselves guessing what’s going to happen next, talking about how excited we are to continue watching it, and even texting each other little things throughout the day like: Chipotle and PLL tonight? Find something that you both can enjoy equally and make it something for just the two of you. Fair warning: don’t let yourself watch the next episode without your S.O—they won’t be happy!

Try to eat dinner together every night

I know this may be difficult because life simply gets in the way sometimes (work, school, kids; all that fun stuff), but taking the time to sit down and eat with your partner makes a world of difference. This past spring into early June my boyfriend was dieting for a bodybuilding competition, and despite the fact that he was starving and couldn’t eat any of the food I was eating, he made sure to sit down with me every single night for dinner. Sometimes we’d eat while watching one of our shows—it didn’t have to be strictly formal dining at the kitchen table—lounging on the couch and eating over the coffee table works just as well, too. For me, the fact that my boyfriend made the time to just sit down and eat with me during a time where his brain was foggy. his body running on purely fumes, made me feel so special. It was a time in our relationship that was supposed to be stressful, yet somehow brought us closer together. If you’re both eating dinner at home that night, talk to each other ahead of time and mention how you’d like to sit down and simply eat your supper together. Eventually it’ll become a habit, part of your normal every day routine.

Try to avoid arguing

My friends always joke with me because I am probably one of the least argumentative people they know. Quite frankly, I don’t have the time or energy to waste arguing with someone. There’s a difference between arguing and discussing, and it’s important to be aware of which side you’re on. Arguing with your partner and raising your voice over a little disagreement is going to solve absolutely nothing besides probably making the two of you more angry. Instead, try taking a step back. Think about what you’re really trying to say before you open your mouth. One time my boyfriend and I got into a small disagreement and we ended up dropping it because we didn’t want to end up in a fight. It wasn’t until months later when I brought it up again simply by asking: can I ask you something? And before I do, I want to hear what you have to say because I am genuinely curious about your answer. From there, we were able to have a calm discussion and found out that we were both in agreement in the end. If it’s not directly harming you, your partner, or your relationship, it’s probably not worth arguing over.

Patience

Patience is a virtue, or so we’ve been told. While not everyone is going to be the most patient person in the world, you should try to dig up a little bit of patience and use it solely on your partner. Losing your patience can lead to irritability and snapping, and your S.O doesn’t deserve to have your stress taken out on them; they’re an innocent bystander, after all. (Trust me, I’ve had my fair share of being snappy and being snapped at in my 24 years of life, and it’s seriously overrated.) Making a conscious effort to be patient and not take out your frustrations on them can help your partner better understand what you’re going through, and even prompt them to offer to help you in any way they can. Impatience can be confused with ungratefulness or even occasionally entitlement, and that most definitely will not bring you and your partner closer together.

Take at least one day/night a week for yourselves

In relationships I personally view as successful, one thing they all seem to have in common is that they always take the time for themselves. You can’t be reminded too much on why you fell in love in the first place, which is why I believe that taking at least one day or night a week for the two of you is crucial. It’s important to have that one-on-one time, and not have any tag alongs. We all love our friends and have a blast going out with other couples, but you need that alone time. I love date nights because I love sitting and talking for hours about anything and everything with a glass of wine or bubbly. I’ve noticed that since my boyfriend and I have implemented our weekly date nights, we’ve been able to confide in one another more, discuss things more openly, and stop any fights or petty disagreements altogether. Remember, your dates don’t have to be anything extravagant, either. You can do something as easy as a homemade date night like the one I talk about in one of my previous posts: Creating a Flawless Romantic Date Night at Home.