Chances are you already know that communication is a vital pillar in a healthy relationship. Not only does it help foster understanding between two people and build trust, but it also prevents both partners from ruminating and resenting each other. But communicating with your partner is sometimes easier said than done; after all, we all respond to and handle conflict differently. So working on and improving your communication skills is a must.
The truth is, communication in a relationship is non-negotiable. And improving your communication skills will make it easier for your partner to hear you out and vice versa, which will make overcoming conflict a breeze.
Allow me to introduce to you 7 ways to improve communication skills in a relationship. With these practical tips, overcoming adversity together will be a breeze. Keep scrolling to learn more.
7 Ways To Improve Your Communication Skills in a Relationship:
1. Pick a good time to talk
When it comes to discussing a difficult or sensitive subject, timing is key. Because chances are the conversation won’t go well if neither of you are in the right headspace for it. So, try to avoid bringing it up while either of you are drinking, stressed, running out the door, etc. They’ll be more likely to lash out or respond differently than they normally would.
Instead, try your best to gauge your partner. If you’ve been together for a while, you’ll likely know when the time is right. Or you can always straight-up ask them if you can talk. Either way, doing this will ensure you’re both in the right place to broach this subject.
2. Go into the conversation prepared to work through it
Mindset is everything, and while we all have preconceived notions about how people will respond, go into this discussion prepared to work through it. This will help you enter it with an open mind and make it easier to find a resolution together.
3. Prepare what you’re going to say ahead of time
Organizing your thoughts is practically impossible when emotions are running high, so it’s a good idea to prepare and practice what you’re going to say ahead of time. This is also where taking a step back and picking the right time to talk comes in clutch. Having your thoughts laid out ahead of time will make it easier for you to clearly communicate what’s on your mind.
4. Keep it about you
The old saying “it’s not what you say but how you say it” applies here. While it’s natural to criticize your partner, especially if they’re making you feel some type of way, try your best to avoid doing so. Saying things like “you make me feel unimportant when you ignore my calls” is only going to make them defensive, which in turn will make the conversation harder to work through.
Instead, swap out the you for I. Saying something like “I know you’re not trying to be malicious, but it makes me feel like I don’t matter to someone when they ignore my calls, and that’s on me” will go over a whole lot smoother than the alternative. Keeping the conversation about you will make your partner more receptive because they won’t feel harshly criticized.
5. Stay calm and be honest about your feelings
It’s also important to stay calm throughout the conversation. As hard as it may be, doing so will make it easier to keep your thoughts organized and communicate your points clearly; after all, it’s hard to stay focused and have a productive conversation when you’re feeling particularly emotional.
Similarly, keep in mind that honesty is always the best policy. This is also where preparing what you’re going to say ahead of time and keeping it about you comes in handy. Resolving conflict in a relationship is always more challenging if one partner isn’t being one hundred percent honest.
6. Give them time to talk, too
It takes two to tango, so while it’s vital that your partner hears you out, it’s equally important to do the same for them as well. After you’ve said your piece, practice active listening by giving them time to respond and hearing them out. Remember that their feelings are valid, too, and be open and willing to see things from their POV as well.
Once they’ve had a chance to say their piece, you can begin the process of finding a resolution. This might mean asking open-ended questions (like what they need from you or are looking for), validating each other (e.g. “I understand, and I’m sorry”), or making a plan to fix whatever is going on.
7. Be grateful
As silly as it sounds, thanking your partner for taking the time to hear you out will go a long way. Although communicating and listening to each other is a vital part of a healthy relationship, this shows that you respect them and their time (and they should do the same for you).
