Sexiness. The quality of being sexually attractive or alluring. We all possess different levels of sexiness in our own way, and how we ooze it through our sex appeal is specific to each individual. I will be the first to say that I have never in my life thought that I was seductive. Some people have natural sex appeal, whereas I always felt awkward trying to display any ounce of it. Obviously someone found me alluring along the way because I’ve been with my man for over 6.5 years now.
I never really felt sexy. Sure, there would be times where I felt good about my appearance, but actually feeling sexy is a whole different thing. It wasn’t until I began feeling true confidence in myself that I actually started feeling sexy, like maybe I did have some seductiveness in me after all.
But much like the fact that real confidence is silent, I’ve also realized that feeling sexy ultimately translates the same way. Palpable sexiness is quiet—and it’s a weapon I’ve really enjoyed brandishing recently.
This conclusion is still fairly new to me, but I’ve been trying to understand the parallels that translate into this newfound sexiness I feel. The best part is the fact that I don’t feel the need to display it anywhere. Before I had no problem showing off my assets—I’d do things like post bikini pics on Instagram regularly, or wear low cut tops 24/7—but I don’t feel the need to do that anymore. I’m loving the current style at the moment—turtlenecks, one shoulder tops and dresses, high cut shirts or crop tops that don’t reveal any cleavage. It’s almost as if women everywhere are saying that we don’t need to show skin in order to show off what we’ve got. Now, posting a picture on Instagram with massive cleavage just feels so wrong. It doesn’t make me feel good about myself at all. Of course there will be times where I’ll still wear a low cut shirt or post a picture wearing one, or pics of me in my bikini—but wearing and posting pictures because I want to rather than feeling the need to is a totally different thing.
Another thing that’s made me feel sexier is the fact that I’ve now reserved certain parts of me for my man’s eyes and his eyes only. There’s something about letting only one person see all of me that’s so appealing to me. The fact that I don’t like showing off turns my man on even more, and whenever we go out, if I do wear a low cut top (he still always insists I do because he claims he loves “showing me off” his words, not mine!), he loves the fact that I’m only wearing it just for him. I don’t want extra attention, and I sure as hell don’t need extra validation from anyone.
Some of my favorite pics from the shoot, I had so much fun! This was unlike anything I’d ever done before, and I really got to express myself!
The biggest conclusion I’ve come to is that sexiness isn’t about appearance or beguiling capability—it’s an aura. Much like you can tell a lot about a person by their demeanor, sex appeal is the same thing; which only makes sense as to why finding my confidence helped me tap into my inner sexiness. To me, showing off in the past went hand-in-hand with the fact that I felt like I completely lacked any sex appeal. Now, not feeling the need to show off goes hand-in-hand with how sexy I feel.
There is no right or wrong answer as to what’s sexy and what’s not, it’s solely based on the individual. Society will always try to tell you what to do, but you shouldn’t ever feel the need to listen. I think it’s important to find empowerment within yourself first and foremost before you can tap into your inner sex goddess or god. Everything you have comes from within. And once you find it, your aura will be absolutely undeniable—flawless.
