Confessional: Navigating a Relationship on Social Media

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This past Tuesday morning, my boyfriend and I landed in Rhode Island after taking a red eye overnight from Las Vegas. The trip marked the 4th time him and I have been to Sin City together in our 6 year relationship. Throughout our relationship we have traveled to countless cities across the country—Los Angeles, Houston, Dallas, Orlando, Hartford, New Orleans, NYC; to name a few—and even to Los Cabos, Mexico and Toronto. The craziest thing? Out of that brief list I just made, only 2 of those trips were for pleasure.

Navigating a relationship when one or both of you is in the public eye can be tricky. When someone’s entire career revolves around social media it can sometimes leave one person feeling like the third wheel. It can become intrusive and sometimes tear people apart. When Nick and I first started dating, the social media aspect completely overwhelmed me. I’d never set foot into a world where careers could thrive yet be so unregimented at the same time. If I’m being completely honest here, there were times that I felt like the third wheel, or an unpaid assistant. Thankfully, I don’t feel that way anymore. The point I’m trying to make, however, is this: if you feel like social media is infiltrating your relationship, don’t worry; you’re not alone.

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I know I don’t have all the answers, nor will I ever claim to. What I do know, though, is that after communicating honestly and openly with my boyfriend, maturing as an individual, and seeing firsthand multiple people with thriving businesses and lives from social media (millionaires, people, legit millionaires), is that you both have to be all in it equally. If you don’t fully understand the correlation between social media and success, there’s a good chance social media will inadvertently drive a wedge in between you and your S.O.

When my boyfriend and I first started traveling for business together, it was for fitness expos and YouTube collabs. His sponsors were amazing and always let me work the booth with him. I’d either do something like pass out protein bars or hangout with my boyfriend and meet people who had subscribed to his YouTube channel or had been following him for a long time; their excitement was radiant and infectious. I’d take pictures of them with my boyfriend, and sometimes they’d ask me to join in as well because they recognized me from Nick’s videos and other social media accounts. After the expo was done, we’d usually go to a gym and meetup with other fellow YouTubers in the fitness community. Nick would get a training session in with them, and I’d film it.

Since I’m being completely transparent here, I’ll admit that I’d usually get annoyed at the expo or gym meetup at some point or another. Of course I was always so proud of Nick, but I couldn’t help but feel insecure at times when people would go up to him and I’d be left in the background taking pictures. I wanted to be in my boyfriend’s position. I wanted people to know who I was. I felt like an attachment off of my boyfriend, background noise, not my own person. I never wanted to be known simply as “Nick Wright’s girlfriend.” In addition to that, my boyfriend had never explained to me the importance of collabs, so sometimes I’d get annoyed because I wanted to go out and have fun since the work for the day was over. In my mind, we were on a fun work trip, after all.

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It wasn’t until after my car accident when we were both going through a major growth period that we were finally able to discuss the whole social media thing openly and honestly. It took both of us maturing to finally be able to do it. (Just for clarification purposes, I was 22 and he was 26, which is basically 22 in men years.) I was so sad when he told me he felt like I never supported him because that was the last feeling I ever wanted to give him. He understood that he wasn’t always clear about how important collabs and social media are. He admitted that he’d just assumed I’d grasp the importance.

I write all of this because I want you to know that it took work to get to where we are today. Nowadays, whenever we travel for a collab or fitness expo, I look at it as a networking opportunity, a chance to see up-close how to turn social media into a lucrative business and living. I don’t mind working because I love meeting new people and I always want to make the best impression possible. I get to make new friends whose lives revolve around social media, and talk about my blog. I get the opportunity to pick their brain. Whenever people ask me to take a picture, I no longer feel like background noise. I look around at the beautiful house my boyfriend and I live in, the flawless office he was able to build for us both, all because he posted videos he’d filmed in his parents basement documenting his bodybuilding journey on YouTube. If there’s something that my boyfriend wants me to film, he always asks me if I can ahead of time. He never expects it (not that he did before, but he makes sure to ask now). We always discuss game plans ahead of time and what to probably expect during a trip so we’re on the same page.

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On the flip side, before, whenever I’d ask my boyfriend to get pictures of me for social media and he’d get annoyed because he thought I was “too picky” and photography isn’t something he particularly enjoys doing. Now that my blog and social media are my priority, if we’re going to a fun location or I have a sick outfit on, I’ll ask him if he minds getting some pictures of me, and he’ll get super creative and go all out for me. No matter the situation, we always make sure to thank each other profusely.

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When it comes to quality time together, we make sure to put our phones and cameras away unless we ask the other ahead of time if they mind the camera being out during it. There is no social media when it’s just the two of us together, we make sure of that. Our alone time is equally as important as our time spent on social media. We know that we’re valuable to each other and can only propel the other’s careers and goals forward. We’re a team, him and I. Always.