Confessional: Why My Boyfriend and I Do Weekly Date Nights

My boyfriend and I have been doing our Saturday night date nights for so long now—they’ve become such a staple, such a constant, in our relationship—I forget that there was a time in which we didn’t have weekly date nights every Saturday. In fact, for a good portion of our near-8-year relationship we didn’t do our date nights every Saturday. The first 3 years of our relationship I was waitressing/bartending at a restaurant and worked doubles every Saturday; and the following year I was bartending at a night club Friday and Saturday nights until 2:00 a.m. It wasn’t until after my car accident in 2017, when I could no longer work, that we started doing our Saturday night date nights. Slowly, we made a night that had previously been reserved for working into a night of our own.

As this timeline dawned on me, I realized that even though we didn’t always have Saturdays to ourselves, we still always made time for each other throughout the week and carved out moments we could steal together and make our own. This was huge in moments of pure chaos, like when I was wrestling 6-7 days a week and working weekends. I think at the time, neither one of us fully grasped what we were doing—which was ensuring that we stayed close through turbulence.

But back to post-car accident circa 2017. We were at a weird place in our relationship, physically (me, not him), mentally (both of us), and financially. As the weather turned colder, we suddenly had all this free time indoors—time we’d never had previously.

And thus our Saturday night homemade date nights were born.

We started simple: we’d grab a couple bottles of wine, some goat cheese, crackers, and steak from our local market, and we’d head on back to what is now our shared home and tuck away for a night in. We’d have our goat cheese and crackers as an appetizer, then we’d settle down to watch a movie with our wine, and we’d end the night by having some steak and rice. It wasn’t anything fancy, not by any means, but we still began thinking of these nights as our date nights. Eventually, that turned into our “Saturday night homemade date nights,” and we’d switch it up sometimes with cooking new recipes at home, until we began going out to restaurants again (which funnily enough, hasn’t happened in nearly a year now). Our “Saturday night homemade date nights” simply became our Saturday night date nights. A weekly routine, something always penciled in.

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When I think back to those date nights spent in the comfort of our home, I think about how two people found their way back to each other in a very low, dark moment. I think of how two people were reminded why they fell in love in the first place; who fully realized that their relationship was worth holding on to, worth fighting for.

We’ve kept our date nights a tradition since those dark days, and now, we’re happier than ever. I wouldn’t attribute this completely to the fact that we have weekly date nights—I think it’s a combination of that and the fact that we’ve matured and grown through a lot of low moments individually and as a couple—but I know for a fact that our regular date nights have only helped strengthen our bond.

My boyfriend and I have a date night once a week because it’s something for the two of us and the two of us alone. It’s bonding time; time that gives us the chance to laugh, talk, and connect. They’re something we look forward to throughout the week, we make them special. Sometimes we’ll get dressed up just to stay inside, while others it’ll be more relaxed. Before COVID, some of our date nights would be spent at one of our favorite restaurants, where we’d talk for hours on end over drinks and good food. All in all, our date nights have been one of the best things for our relationship. It’s time where we shut the rest of the world out. Right before I sat down to write this, my boyfriend and I discussed what we were going to do this Saturday; our plans getting us equally excited.

I think it’s so important for all couples to make time for each other as much as possible. Sometimes life gets in the way and other things come into the picture, but even in those times of chaos, taking the time to do something as simple as eating dinner together one night or talking before falling asleep is so important. If you don’t take that time together, it’ll be easier for life to get in the way and allow the relationship to slip onto the back burner. Taking time for yourselves as a couple will only help strengthen your bond, making it easier to navigate life in times of chaos. Honestly, that one-on-one time is everything, and no matter what, my boyfriend and I will always make sure we have it because of how important it is to us and our relationship.