Dealing with finances as a couple is one thing, but trying to come together when two people have significantly different views is another. In fact, I put out a poll on my Instagram story and asked everyone if they believed different views on finances affect relationships. The answer? An overwhelming 91% said yes, while only 9% said no. All of this brings me to this question: Are different financial views a deal breaker in relationships?
In short? No, not necessarily. Admittedly, it can be tough to navigate a serious relationship with a partner who doesn’t share the same money sentiments, spending habits, and goals as you do. However, like anything in life, with patience, communication, and compromise, it can be dealt with and overcome.
It may be hard to see financial views from someone else’s POV, but in a relationship, it must be done in order to come to a compromise and move forward. Below I’ve broken down all the steps you can take to overcome different financial views in your relationship. Keep on reading to learn the 7 ways to deal with different financial views in a relationship.
7 ways to deal with different financial views:
1. Normalize talking about money.
Money, for a lot of people, is a very taboo subject. You don’t have to go around disclosing your financial situation to the entire world, but it is something you and your S.O should get used to talking about regularly. This will help eliminate any money fears either one of you may have and help normalize talking about it. This will make dealing with different financial views and coming to a compromise so much easier.
2. Get real about your spending habits.
Think and talk about your upbringing. Growing up, were you taught to fear money and have now become extremely cheap because of it? Have you rebelled and now view and handle finances completely opposite to how you were raised? Did you grow up with an endless supply of money at your fingertips and now have no budgeting skills because of it?
Answering these kinds of questions will not only give both of you insight into each other’s financial views, but your own as well, and how it’s impacted your spending habits.
3. Be honest about how you view each other’s financial views.
Once you’ve gotten real about your own spending habits and discussed them with one another, you can now begin to talk about how you view each other’s financial views and spending habits. It’s important to communicate about this so neither one of you builds up any resentment towards the other.
Communicate honestly but kindly. Don’t put them down because their financial views are different than yours; reiterate the fact that you want to talk about this because you don’t want the difference in your financial views to come between you as a couple.
4. Discuss your financial goals.
Once you’ve done the work above, it’s now time to be honest with yourselves and one another about your financial goals. This is something that needs to be discussed so neither one of you is left in the dark because financial goals can be such a big part of life. This will also help you both come up with a financial plan that works for both of you, together.
5. Keep at least 1 joint account.
In another poll on my Instagram stories, I asked if couples should keep a separate or joint account. Separate won by 66%, while joint had 34%. Although splitting bills evenly or distributing them in an even manner may seem like the easier option for the sake of financial independence, security, and avoidance of financial tension, it can backfire in the long-run. You won’t ever feel like a team or really be able to start working towards your financial goals as a couple if you’re keeping everything separate.
Instead, you could try keeping at least one joint bank or investment account and keeping your own, separate account as well. Together, figure out what you can both fairly and equally contribute to that joint account. Discuss how the money from this account will be used. Doing this will also be good for down the line in case something ever happens (like one of you loses their job or has to take a major pay cut). You’ll both be used to having money as a couple, rather than on your own.
6. Be real about your income differences.
More likely than not, one of you is going to make more than the other one. This doesn’t mean that the person who makes more gets to spend more and/or hold it over the other person’s head. That’s not fair, either.
Try to think of income in other ways besides money, like through contributions such as cooking, cleaning, etc. Don’t let the discrepancies in your income and financial views change how you view your partnership.
7. Come to a compromise and be honest about purchases.
It may be hard for both of you to see the other one’s POV completely, so coming to a compromise regarding your different financial views is a good idea. Together, decide how you can both make your financial dreams come to fruition moving forward; figure out what you both think is worth spending your money on. When it comes to splurges, be honest about them. If you buy something for yourself, tell your S.O and vice versa. It’s not checking in or asking for permission—it’s simply being honest and preventing money infidelity in your relationship.
