I’m not going to lie, the vibes that I was hoping for for 2020 have not been there. On January 1, I woke up with my neck thrown out so badly—the worst its ever been—to the point where I’ve been unable to do anything; I’ve spent the past three weeks trying to get in touch with my new health insurance company so I can finally get back in to see the orthopedic I’ve been seeing since October 2017; getting a referral for a neurosurgeon is proving to be more difficult than I ever would’ve thought; and now my hands and feet are going numb daily which I’m 99.999% sure is caused by my neck.
All of this isn’t to complain—it is what it is, I have no control over those things—it’s really just to reiterate the fact that sometimes life hits you, and it hits hard. We all deal with annoyances in our day-to-day lives, but we all do have breaking points. Whenever I reach my breaking point, I always refer back to the age-old saying: “the straw that broke the camel’s back.”
For me, my breaking point is usually whenever I feel like my life isn’t my own anymore. This is always my breaking point because after my accident in August 2017, I’ve become accustomed to living a life filled with ceaseless doctors appointments, endless physical therapy visits, calls to insurance companies, recovering from a shoulder surgery, still having no answers about my neck, having a lower quality of life, and a neck injury that’s steadily gotten worse and worse over time. It feels like every time I turn around there’s something else I have to do that isn’t for me. Feeling like I’m a prisoner to my own life feels like wearing a thick, tight noose around my neck. Slowly, I’m losing more and more oxygen.
Starting this blog made me feel like I had a little more say in my life once again, but lately it’s felt more and more like I’m right back where I started. On top of all of that, my neck has hindered my life completely; I can’t do any normal activities that a healthy 24 year old should be able to do. I thought this would’ve ended after my shoulder surgery, but I was wrong, so so so wrong. I feel like this is something I’ll never be able to escape from.
All of this got me thinking about the breaking the points we all have in our lives, and the spiraling feeling we all get right before we reach that point. I know I’m not the only one who’s dealt with this, it’s part of being human, which is why I created this guide on what to do when you feel like your life is spiraling out of control; that way, we can refer back to this and use it to possibly prevent reaching a breaking point, or so we’ll know how to handle it if we do.
Take a step back
This is probably the first and easiest thing you can do. Taking a step back and removing yourself from the situation is extremely beneficial when you feel like your life is beginning to spiral out of control because it’ll give you a second to breathe, and also allow you to see things more clearly. When you’re immersed in a situation, it’s not always easy to see things for what they really are.
Whenever I feel like I’m losing my grip on my life, I like going out and doing something mindless. This can include going to the library and browsing through the new books, going out for a drink with my boyfriend or friends, or even going over to my parents’ house. These types of activities not only get me out of the house, they relax my brain and give me a second to actually process what’s going on. If you’re unsure of what to do, try going for a walk and shutting your mind off, you’ll be able to better evaluate the situation for what it really is when you come back to it.
Vent
I’m a huge fan of venting rather than bottling everything up and hoping it never resurfaces again. Bottling things up can lead to emotional and/or physical explosions, and in more serious cases, even panic attacks. I once talked to someone who had a panic attack and they told me that they believed it was caused by keeping all of their emotions inside. We can’t ignore our feelings, and if we do, they’re going to find a way out somehow.
In addition, talking through things is extremely helpful. By talking about what’s going on in your life you’re giving yourself the chance to lay out exactly how you’re feeling. Venting can also sometimes lead you to finding out where your emotions stem from, leading you to an epiphany of some sort.
Last week when I was letting the stress really get to me, my boyfriend and I were out one night and I laid out exactly how I was feeling, I didn’t hold anything back. By simply voicing out loud, “I think I’m freaking out because I feel like my life is out of control and isn’t my own again,” I was able to pull myself together and see everything without the distorted lens. Venting can prevent you from reaching your breaking point before it’s too late.
Control what you can
I really try to live by the idea of only controlling the things I can control and relinquishing control to the things I cannot. When you’re in the heat of the moment, it may feel like everything is out of your control, but after taking a moment to recollect yourself, try to look at the situation differently. If you know you can do something that could possibly stop the spun-out feeling you’re having, or prevent you from reaching your breaking point, do it; don’t sit back and let things happen! Taking charge of what you can will also make you feel like your feet are planted more firmly on the ground and that you’re not spinning out of control nearly as much as you think you are.
Don’t stop working
It’s also important that when taking control of what you can that you don’t stop working and moving forward. I’ve found that succumbing to the circumstances will only make you feel worse about yourself, ultimately leading you to the conclusion that the situation is as dire as you initially thought. I’ve found that whenever I feel like I’m spinning out faster than the speed of light, keeping myself on a regimented schedule, micromanaging my time, and forcing myself to keep going, keep working, is extremely beneficial. It’s reassuring knowing that even when I feel stressed or close to my breaking point I will continue to move forward.
Pushing yourself to keep going even when you feel like your life is falling apart will make you feel better about yourself, and also show you that you’re more than capable of handling anything that comes your way.
When life gives you lemons…
…you make lemonade. Nothing is permanent in life, and it’s good to remind yourself of that both when you feel like you’re about to have a mental breakdown, or feel like you’re about to. Try to look at everything as a learning experience and take something away from it, you’ll feel better prepared on how to handle it the next time you’re presented with a similar situation. We all have bad days, it’s a part of life, just try to stay positive and do the best you can every day. We’re all still trying to figure this thing out.
