10 Ways to Get Rid of Those First Date Jitters

Scoring a first date can bring on a wave of excitement, but that excitement is often followed by a wave of anxiety. These nerves are known as the notorious first date jitters, and they can make a date seem practically impossible to get through.

It’s normal for all the what-ifs to run through your head—What if there’s no chemistry and the entire thing is painfully boring? What if there is a connection and they may be the one after all? What if I misinterpret their body language or miss some major red flags? Dating is full of unknowns, which can make the whole process feel overwhelming.

There’s no shame in experiencing first date jitters—we’ve all been there. Luckily, there are hacks that can help calm your nerves before a first date. Keep on reading to learn 10 ways to get rid of those first date jitters.

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How To Get Rid of First Date Jitters:

2. Help plan the date

Unless one of you specifically asks for the date to be a surprise, both of you should be involved in the plan-making. This will help mitigate stress and relieve some of your anxiety. Taking the time to plan and pick the location together will also give you the chance to make sure it’s somewhere you both can enjoy. Additionally, it’ll also give you the opportunity to make sure you’re both going to a place where you feel comfortable and, more importantly, safe.

3. Do something to make yourself feel good beforehand

When you feel good, you look good. Take a shower or bath beforehand to give yourself a nice reset. Do a face mask, spritz on your favorite perfume or cologne, etc. Taking care of and treating yourself like this will give you an extra boost of confidence.

4. Pick the right time

When it comes to scheduling first dates, there’s a happy medium to be found. Scheduling one on day you have a lot going on is only going to add an extra layer of stress. Likewise, scheduling it for a day where you have nothing else going on is going to make the date seem like a bigger deal than it actually is. In the first scenario, you’ll probably show up to the date frazzled, while the second will only emphasize your first date jitters.

Instead, try scheduling the date for a day where your life feels most balanced. You’ll avoid an added layer of stress and stop yourself from spending all day thinking about it when there’s nothing else going on.

5. Jot down conversation ideas

This may sound silly, but brainstorming conversation ideas before a date can be super helpful. This is especially beneficial for those who don’t enjoy or are uncomfortable with making small talk or are shy around new people. Think about topics you enjoy talking about and write them down, along with some potential questions to ask your date. Knowing that you have things to add to a discussion or topics you can bring up will help ease some of your dating nerves. You can also check out this guide for conversation starters.

6. Keep it short and create an exit plan

Whether you make plans with friends or family afterwards, schedule an appointment, or have a commitment to attend to at a specific time, knowing you have an out will help quell your anxiety. Additionally, you can also create an exit plan ahead of time—like a friend calling with a fake emergency—in case you want to get out of there sooner than expected. Just knowing that you won’t be stuck will be reassuring.

But what if the date ends up going better than you expected? The good news is that you can always extend it, or a schedule a second one.

7. Acknowledge and accept your emotions

Experiencing first date jitters is completely normal, which is why you shouldn’t stress about why you’re feeling nervous or try to fix it. Instead, simply try to ride it out—acknowledge how you’re feeling, and accept it. Sit with your anxiety and think about what it might be trying to tell you.

For example: Maybe it’s telling you that your past experiences with dating haven’t gone well and now you’re holding onto those experiences subconsciously. Or, perhaps this is something you experience whenever you meet someone for the first time. Sometimes identifying emotions, acknowledging them, and sitting with them helps them go away.

On the other hand, shoving down what you’re feeling or getting yourself worked up about it is only going to make your anxiety worse. In moments like this, remember to be gentle and compassionate with yourself.

8. Remember they’re nervous, too

If those first date jitters are getting to you, take a step back and remind yourself that they’re nervous too. Everyone is putting themselves out there and opening themselves up to possible rejection on a first date, which can be extremely nerve-wracking. Remembering that first dates are pretty risky for everyone can make you feel more grounded and calm.

9. Keep an open mind

You may be feeling worked up for your first date because you have certain expectations about how it should go. As humans, we want to control things, but that control can cause us unnecessary stress and pain. Let go of those expectations and surrender to whatever will be. Doing this will allow you to walk into the date with an open mind and experience it fully for all it has to offer. It’ll also help take off some pressure you may be putting on yourself unnecessarily.

It’s also easy for first dates to feel like a job interview, but first dates are just that—first dates. Try not to make the date a bigger deal than it needs to be; get rid of expectations and walk in open and willing to seeing where the date goes.

10. Have fun and enjoy yourself

At the end of the day, it’s important to try to enjoy yourself and have fun; and walking in with an open mind will help you do that. Try your best to stay positive. And remember that no matter what the outcome is, at the very least, you’ll have a great story to tell.