Sure, we can do preventative treatments, exercise, get lots of sleep and drink plenty of water, but when it comes down to it, we can’t stop time. In truth, aging is a gift, and it happens to everyone. However, most of us only think of aging in terms of physical appearance—very rarely do we think about what it does internally. Case in point? Sex drive. Libido changes as you age, which means finding the right sex products is key to having a fulfilling sex life.
That said, there’s still a deep cultural stigma women face around the topic of sex. “For women especially, our youth-obsessed culture has deep, toxic roots that have caused harm,” founder of Sssh.com Angie Rowntree explained to me. “Bodies change with time and health. However, neither of these things negates an adult’s right to explore pleasure on their own terms. It’s time to love and appreciate our bodies for what they are and what they’ve done for us.”
What To Know About Perimenopause and Postmenopause:
Before we get into Rowntree’s expert-approved sex toys and products, let’s quickly break down the difference between perimenopause and postmenopause:
- Perimenopause is the time before menopause. This is when your body will make the natural transition toward menopause; estrogen will naturally start to decline, and you’ll start having irregular periods. You may also experience things like hot flashes or vaginal dryness, which can impede your sex life.
- Postmenopause is the time after menopause. This means you haven’t had a period for 12 months. Some people may still experience side effects such as hot flashes, vaginal dryness and discomfort, and changes in their sex drive.
Now that we’ve broken that down, let’s get into it. Regardless of whether you’re entering a natural life transition, are already there, or have a partner who isn’t as limber as they used to be, Rowntree’s sexual wellness picks can help. Also, FYI: Sex products—like sex toys, lube, and more—can spice up your sex life, regardless of your age. So, kiss those days of no sex or bad sex goodbye with the 13 best sex toys and products for perimenopause to postmenopause. Keep scrolling to learn more.
Sex Products for Perimenopause to Postmenopause:
LIBERATOR
Black Label Wedge
Let’s be real: We all could use a little extra help getting into position from time to time. And this wedge does just that. Rowntree is a huge fan of Liberator’s Black Label Wedge for added comfort, flexibility, and adaptive sex positions.
According to Rowntree, what makes this wedge so great is that it makes unattainable positions (read: ones where you’re twisted like a pretzel) attainable again. As a result, libido will skyrocket and pleasure will soar.
→ SHOP NOW
PLAYBOY PLEASURE
Put In Work Kegel Set
Your pelvic floor is the unsung hero of your body. It supports bladder and bowel movement, provides body stabilization, and supports orgasms and overall sexual function. Needless to say, this is one body part that shouldn’t be overlooked.
To strengthen the muscles “down there,” Rowntree recommends this kegel set from Playboy Pleasure. “Each egg-shaped weight is made of smooth, velvety silicone and [is] conveniently color-coded by weight so you can track your progress,” she said. Furthermore, it’ll give your pelvic floor a workout, help maintain healthy urinary function, and power your big-O’s.
→ SHOP NOW
PLAYBOY PLEASURE
Double Time Kegel Balls
Want to take it a step further? Rowntree recommends spicing things up with this 2-in-1 kegel ball. Not only will you get a good pelvic floor workout, but you’ll also be rewarded for your hard work with the device’s hidden vibrator. And if you really want to up the ante, Rowntree suggests wearing this on your next date night and giving your partner the remote control.
→ SHOP NOW
CAL EXOTICS
Boundless Dilator 3-pc Set
“To help keep the delicate vaginal tissue elastic and receptive to penetration, some women find vaginal dilators or slender dildos to be beneficial,” Rowntree explained. “Each dilator is gently tapered, made of soft silicone, and has a large ring at the base for easy and fast removal.” This set has 3 size options, so you can start small and work your way up, or experiment and find what works best for you.
→ SHOP NOW
FUN FACTORY
Limba Flex Dildo
Dildos are great for vaginal and anal stimulation, and this bendable option from Fun Factory does the trick. “The Limba can bend and adjust to any shape you desire, so it’s perfect for G-spot or prostate massage too,” Rowntree said.
→ SHOP NOW
GENDER X
Lustrous Galaxy Wand
This dual-ended glass wand is everything you need to spice up your sex life. Rowntree describes it as providing a “harder feel with a ‘twist'” that’s designed for dual-ended stimulation. Plus, the sleek, iridescent glass finish looks luxe AF.
Furthermore, one end of this toy is tapered and triple-beaded, while the other is curved and bulbous-tip ended. Use it with your favorite lubricant to really get your money’s worth.
→ SHOP NOW
LOVERS
Water-Based Lube
If you’ve been waiting to hop aboard the lube train, now’s the time to get your ticket. “Lube is something no one should skimp on regardless of age, but especially if you’re prone to vaginal dryness; it is imperative to lube up in order to prevent discomfort or injury,” Rowntree told me. “Whether you’re enjoying solo or partnered sex, the golden rule is Live, Laugh, LUBE!”
According to Rowntree, water-based lube is one of the most versatile ones out there. She recommends this lubricant from Lovers, which is compatible with silicone, rubber, latex, and polyisoprene. Likewise, the natural, non-sticky formula is perfect for keeping things slick during any kind of play.
→ SHOP NOW
INTIMATE EARTH
Pussy Willow Silk Hybrid Glide
Get the best of both worlds with Intimate Earth’s Pussy Willow Hybrid Glide. Perfectly blended and balanced water, silicone, and licorice root create a silky, lush feeling that’s perfect for any sort of play. And unlike other silicone-based lubricants, Rowntree says this one is safe to use with condoms and toys, including platinum-cured silicone ones.
→ SHOP NOW
PJUR
Original Silicone Lubricant
If you’re a hardcore fan of silicone lube, Rowntree swears Pjur’s Original Silicone Lubricant will take your sex life to the next level. She explained that it’s never sticky, latex-safe, and ultra-concentrated, so a little goes a long way.
What’s more, it’s also affordable AF, so it’s guaranteed to last a long time. Just be sure to avoid using on any silicone toys; it’ll break down the material much faster compared to a water-based alternative.
→ SHOP NOW
WOMANIZER
Premium 2.0
ICYMI: Sex toys can seriously spice up your sex life, solo or with a partner. This is especially true for women experiencing hormonal changes that make orgasming more difficult. “Sex does not need to be a synchronized event,” Rowntree said, “so if you must ‘lose’ anything with age, then definitely lose the hang-ups and perfectionism, and just focus on having fun.”
For clitoral stimulation that’s out of this world, Rowntree recommends Womanizer’s Premium 2.0 vibe. “The Womanizer Premium 2.0 is known for its Pleasure Air™ Technology that stimulates the clitoris without directly touching it to provide a very pleasurable feeling,” she told me.
→ SHOP NOW
PLAYBOY PLEASURE
Lil Rabbit Vibrator
Remember that Sex and the City episode where Charlotte wouldn’t leave her house because of her Rabbit vibrator? This is just like that in mini form. Rowntree describes Lil Rabbit as a “dual-action” vibe, meaning it provides both clitoral and vaginal stimulation.
What really makes this unique, though, is its size. “For those experiencing a shortening of the vagina canal, the 3.75 inch insertable length is ideal,” Rowntree explained.
→ SHOP NOW
FUN FACTORY
Oh Yeah Right There Bundle
Rowntree loves Fun Factory’s Oh Yeah Right There Bundle for experimentation with mutual masturbation and more in the bedroom. With Fun Factory’s Manta Stroker and Volta Vibrator, this is everything you need to spice up partner play.
Use the Manta as a traditional stroker or cock ring during partnered play, and pair with a water-based lubricant to heighten sensations. Likewise, use Volta’s fluttering tips to stimulate erogenous zones during sex and foreplay, or use the flat side for internal penetration. No matter how you play, there’s enough pleasure to go around.
→ SHOP NOW
FUN FACTORY
NŌS Cock Ring
A cock ring designed with penis and vulva owners in mind, the NŌS Cock Ring is perfect for partnered play. “For him, a cock ring or masturbator sleeve can help spice up the moment—and even maintain a more enjoyable pace,” Rowntree explained. “The two nubs surrounding the clitoris on this cock ring make it unique.”
But that’s not all. NŌS was truly designed with penises in mind—the flexible band has targeted pressure points to support longer and firmer erections without moving. Set the mood by using this during foreplay or oral sex before the grand finale.
→ SHOP NOW
