If there’s one the last year and a half has taught us, it’s that taking care of ourselves and our mental health should always be a priority. Self-care is something that’s talked about a lot, often in terms of mini spa days at-home, detox face masks and green juices, baths and a chilled glass of rosé… yeah, you get the idea. There’s nothing wrong with any of those things—they are relaxing AF—but IMO, self-care goes way beyond those little things and acts of pampering yourself. Self-care, to me, is all about taking care of your mind, body, and spirit. If your mind and spirit aren’t taken care of, your body won’t be taken care of; every fiber of your being will feel as though it’s in total disruption.
I’ve navigated a lot this year—from catching C0VID, to my never-ending neck injury journey, my radiofrequency ablation, the one year anniversary of my grandmother’s passing, moving for the summer, and dealing with families—it’s been a lot; there have been a lot of highs and lows, and a lot of new changes. Despite it all, though, I feel like I’ve managed quite well. The last few summers have been insanely busy—birthday parties, weddings, engagement parties, bridal showers, baby showers, other random get-togethers, and more—the Fourth of July through Labor Day always seems to be the most hectic. But those summers were nothing compared to this year. Not only was more going on, but my boyfriend and I also became responsible for hosting all of his family’s parties when we volunteered to take care of the beach house for the summer. We knew what to expect going into it and have really enjoyed it, but juggling multiple parties, navigating everyday life, planning schedules, going to events, and paying for two houses are challenging enough without dealing with a neck injury and chronic pain, and recovering from a procedure. Healing from my radiofrequency ablation on top of everything else was the icing on the cake.
So, needless to say, this entire year—most notably this summer—have challenged me and taught me a lot.
One of the things that keeps me most grounded in life is my daily morning ritual. It involves meditation, a daily reading from The Book of Awakening, and journaling. I don’t know how I would’ve managed to hold it all together while navigating these new experiences without it. Had I not taken the time every morning for myself to do all of those things, I know for a fact the stress from everything would’ve gotten to me.
Of course I’m not bulletproof, I’m only human. My morning ritual helps me vibe higher in life, but I’m not completely protected from stress. One of the newest challenges I had to face this year was dealing with energy shifts of people coming and going and random pop-ins. I recently learned that every time someone leaves a space or home, there’s an energy shift in the air. It goes from vibrating at a higher, more intense frequency, and drops to a lower one. It’s a very dramatic shift, and oftentimes the ones left behind in their wake feel it the most. Our bodies are like sponges; we absorb energy shifts in the air without meaning to. It’s unsurprising that random and quick familial pop-ins were the most draining for me. One of my biggest weaknesses is saying “no” to family; I feel guilty if I do. I have a tendency to put family needs before my own and put myself on the back burner, even if I’m trying to decompress and take some time for myself. I tend to work around other people and then get to myself last.
The truth is that, when I’m feeling burnt out and mentally exhausted, no spa day or amount of self-pampering is going to get my mind right again. It may feel good in the moment, but it’s only temporary. It’s not really addressing the problem, which is that my body, mind, and spirit are in disruption.
This summer I’ve learned the importance of committing to yourself and committing to taking care of yourself. I was struggling last week and admitted to a friend that I was having difficulty decompressing; I felt like I couldn’t fully relax and be present in anything. They said to me: “as soon as you commit to taking better care of yourself, you will decompress.” And like that, a light bulb went off in my head. Suddenly, it all made sense. I understood immediately what they were saying. I make a commitment to performing my morning ritual every single day because it’s something that’s important to me and keeps me happy and grounded life; I carve out time for it because it’s important to me. At the end of the day, it’s all about commitment. If you commit to taking better care of yourself but then continue to put yourself and your needs on the back burner or behind everyone else, you will not decompress. In fact, you’re doing yourself a disservice. I also admitted during that conversation with my friend that I sometimes don’t like saying “no” because I know if I try to explain to them how I’m feeling they would look at me like I have 10 heads. My friend then made another good point. “It’s their problem if they don’t get it, and it’s not your job to make sure they get it, and sometimes a simple ‘no’ doesn’t warrant an explanation.”
I’ve taken all of this and implemented it in my life. On top of my morning ritual, I always try to take at least 1 day a week to do nothing and step away from all work and social media (usually Saturdays). I also always try to listen to myself and my heart, and only follow through on doing things I want to do, if I have the choice. I need time to myself to decompress, and taking that time and following through on my commitments help make me a better lover, sister, daughter, and friend. I’m now fully committed to prioritizing myself.
So, yes, my self-care routine may look different than the norm, but it’s what keeps me most grounded. (Though I still think it’s good to take care of your skin and sometimes let yourself have a nice bath!) It’s all about mindfulness with my morning ritual, and giving myself one day a week to fully decompress mentally and physically, and following my heart and doing what I want. There is nothing more valuable than being at peace mentally, physically, and spiritually, even in the midst of stress. That is what I believe self-care truly is, which is why I’ve created a free, printable Flawless World Morning Ritual Guide. The guide comes complete with step-by-step instructions, tips for those new to meditation, and an area to journal post-mediation notes. All you have to do to get your free copy is join my weekly newsletter. Commit to taking care of yourself and get on the list to unlock your new BFF and live your most flawless life.
