I’ve got your back, babe—or at least that’s how it’s supposed to be in a relationship. After all, your life partner should be someone you can rely on 100% of the time. But when someone in the relationship doesn’t stand up for the other one or stand by their partner wholeheartedly, the relationship as a whole comes into question. Which begs the question: How important is it to have your partner’s back?
Make no mistake: Not having your S.O’s back—and vice versa—can be detrimental to the relationship. But what exactly happens when you don’t have their back, and what can you do to fix it? I’ve broken it down below. Keep scrolling to learn the 3 reasons you need to your partner’s back, what happens when you don’t, and how to deal so you can both come out together, on top.
The importance of having your partner’s back:
Why you need to have their back:
1. Doesn’t let outsiders into the relationship
Look, no couple is going to agree on everything. However, those disagreements should stay between the two of you alone. Letting the entire world know you’re annoyed with or disagree with your S.O is only going to invite unsolicited opinions from people who aren’t in your shoes. At the end of the day, the only people who should be involved in any relationship matter are the ones in the actual relationship.
2. It displays a united front
Additionally, letting the entire world know you and your partner got each other shows that you’re a united front. This means outsiders won’t get any glimpses or access to any permeable cracks that may be there, and it will also make navigating through any rough patches easier as a couple.
3. Shows unconditional loyalty
Lastly, having your partner’s back shows unconditional loyalty. It’s nice to know that regardless of who you’re with and where you are, your partner will stick up for you and won’t disrespect you, and vice versa. This also strengthens your bond and trust.
What happens when you don’t have their back:
Boundaries are so important in all relationships, and any disrespectful lines should never be crossed. This can include anything from laughing at a joke about your S.O to placing yourself in a situation you have no business being in. Likewise, not standing up for your partner makes it easy for them to question your support; if they can’t trust you to have their back in public, how can they trust you to be there for them in every other area of life? When it comes down to it, being on the same team is crucial.
How to deal:
1. Talk about it
It’s no secret that communication is key, so if you feel like your S.O doesn’t have your back, the first thing you should do is sit down and have an honest conversation. Be respectful, upfront, and honest about how you’re really feeling. Someone who loves you will hear you out and want to remedy the situation.
2. Create boundaries
This is especially important when it comes to dealing with close friends and family members; it’s easy for lines to get blurred with these people, which is why creating boundaries with your partner is a good idea. Take the time together to go over what you are and aren’t comfortable with, and what you can do to improve the situation. Remember: You can’t control how other people act, but you can control how you react and protect your relationship.
3. Remind them you’re there for them
It’s also important to remind them that you’re there for them even behind closed doors. Show your support for them in little ways every single day. This could be something as simple as sending an encouraging text or doing something nice for them. Knowing that your partner only wants the best for you is a great feeling, and one that makes having their back feel 100% natural.
