There have been a couple instances this year where I’ve been talking to people about my neck injury–what it is, how it impacts my life daily, and how frustrating it is because so far no one has been able to help me–and they’ve said something along the lines of: “Chronic pain isn’t good. It’s extremely tough on the body and life.” In both instances, the women saying this were trained, certified nurses. Although I’ve been dealing with and living with this persistent, worsening neck injury since the fateful night I was rear ended by a drunk driver in August 2017, I’d never thought of it like that. I’d never thought about the fact that my pain was ongoing and worsening over time. I knew (and still know) it isn’t normal, and I’m still trying to find some form of relief and/or answers, but I’d never stopped to consider the fact that this injury, and what it does to me, is exactly what falls under the definition of chronic pain. Chronic pain, by definition, is pain that persists for longer than 6 months and affects how a person lives their daily life.
One of the craziest and perhaps most frustrating things about pain is that no one in the world can measure it. Pain is all subjective. I have a higher pain tolerance than everyone I know and yet I still live with chronic pain. Those who suffer from chronic pain know that it doesn’t matter how high your pain tolerance is, how much suffering you can withstand–it will always be there, and it will seriously impact your life, no matter what.
Chronic pain can be difficult for both those who have to live with and those who are around it to understand. The effects of chronic pain on a person are massive, as it impacts your physical and mental wellbeing, which is why I’m here to break down how you can cope with chronic pain. Although it would be nice if these coping methods would solve the problem altogether, these tips will help those suffering from chronic pain cope better.
How to cope with chronic pain:
Deep breathing/meditation
I know I’ve mentioned deep breathing in meditation a lot (because they’re helpful for literally anyone going through anything), but using exercises such as deep breathing or meditation when you have chronic pain are great coping mechanisms. Deep breathing and/or meditation are great for those suffering from chronic pain because they’re activities that help your body relax and release some tension from your muscles. They’re also great because while you’re relaxing your body, you’re taking your mind elsewhere, allowing you a sliver of time where you don’t have to worry or think about the pain you’re in. If you’re new to these exercises, start with deep breathing since it’s easier and is the precursor to meditation. Check out this post on how to do these exercises.
Reduce stress
This year has been probably the worst year since my accident as far as my neck injury is concerned. The injury itself has only gotten significantly worse, I had trouble getting in to see my doctor and an MRI at the beginning of this year; COVID happened, which prolonged me finally getting in to see a neurosurgeon, and said neurosurgeon wasn’t helpful whatsoever. I say all of this because while this was going on, the stress of trying to get in to finally see a neurosurgeon and thinking I’ll finally get some answers about my neck only to be disappointed in the end, caused me a lot of extra stress on top of the already tremendous amount of stress my body was under thanks to the injury. One glaring sign that gave a small indication of the amount of stress I was under was that during this time I got the worst breakout I’ve ever had in my life. I know that’s not the worst thing in the world, but I’ve been blessed with pretty clear skin (aside from some hormonal pimples that’ll pop up when my hormones are all out of wack), and these pimples just would not. go. away—for months, nonetheless! I remember telling my boyfriend how messed up it was that an injury was causing me “this much stress, to the point where it’s now showing on my face.” That’s just one example (unfortunately there’s more) but you get the idea.
When someone suffers from chronic pain, their body is constantly reacting to ongoing stress over and over again. Pain is used to stimulate the body into action to help avoid danger, thus triggering our “fight or flight” mode. Basically, due to the pain, your body is telling your brain that there is danger when there’s really not—you’re essentially draining yourself of adrenaline, firing off all senses, and causing your body unwanted and potentially harmful stress when you don’t need to. Since chronic pain causes ongoing stress, trying to reduce any added stress is another helpful way to cope. Of course this is easier said than done, but carving out time for yourself and finding soothing exercises or habits will help you let go and make you feel grounded. I’ve found that giving myself time for mindless activities and staying on top of my deep breathing exercises is extremely helpful.
RELATED: CONFESSIONAL: THE WORST PART OF LIVING WITH A NECK INJURY
Stay as active as possible
Anyone who lives with chronic pain can attest to the fact that there’s nothing worse than feeling like a victim or prisoner to it. Staying as active as you possibly can can help avoid that. I know it can be frustrating when you’re not able to do the things you could before—trust me, I get it—but don’t get frustrated about what you can’t do. Instead, be happy and proud of yourself for doing what you can—even if that means just walking for thirty minutes on a treadmill.
Find healthy distractions
It’s easy to get distracted by partying, but that’s not going to be good for you long-term, and it’s going to impact your mental health. Partying to distract yourself from anything isn’t a good coping mechanism. Try to find healthy distractions that will allow you to take your mind off the pain. Mindless exercises such as video games, watching TV, or reading are great for this. Set aside time for yourself that allows your brain to escape and get away from it all. When you’re living with chronic pain, those stolen moments are everything. I’d recommend trying to stay away from social media; I’ve found that social media can be a very harmful distraction, since it’s easy to get caught up in the lives of others and be reminded of what you can’t do.
Get sleep
Sleep is so important for everyone, but it’s especially important for those who are living with chronic pain. My neck feels 10x worse when I don’t get the right amount of sleep. It’s important that you give your body time to recharge and that you wake up feeling rested. Waking up with energy is going to help you feel as though you can get through the day, and though the pain will be there, it hopefully won’t weigh you down as much as it normally would if you weren’t properly rested.
Listen to yourself and your body
There’s no one who knows your body the way you do, which is why you shouldn’t do anything you’re not comfortable with. Don’t let other people pressure you into doing anything. I’ve heard so many times in the past, “come on, do it, you’ll be fine,” over little things like dancing, and I haven’t listened. No one knows my body or limits the way I do, and I’m already living with enough pain and limitations on everything in my life as is, there’s no way in hell I’m going to do something that’d potentially worsen that. No one else is in your shoes, they don’t know how you feel. Get used to listening to yourself and your body.
Stay strong and positive
As cliche as it sounds, staying strong and positive is huge when it comes to coping with chronic pain. If I thought about all the things I can no longer do and lost because of my injury I’d fall apart. This year was actually the first year since my car accident that I’ve cried over my injury. I didn’t bat an eye when I needed to get shoulder surgery in February 2018 to fix two tears, a dislocation, and stretched muscle, and I didn’t cry when I found out I had two bulging discs in my neck, but there was one day in May that it all came out. Releasing that energy was what was needed in the moment, but I didn’t let myself dwell on it. Had I not let myself feel what I needed to feel in that moment, I know it all would’ve came out somehow, some way down the line.
Mindset is everything in life. Unfortunately you’re going to have bad days–there will be days that feel worse than others, that you’ll feel angry, sad, etc.–and it’s important that you allow yourself to feel those emotions so you don’t explode one day down the road. But all in all, it’s important that you stay positive and strong. Don’t let those negative thoughts and emotions consume you.
Do what you can
Chronic pain, to put it mildly, is not fun. It is awful and debilitating. Managing chronic pain also comes with being able to be gentle and compassionate with yourself. It’s so easy (especially in the digital-age world we live in) to look at other people and feel like you’re not doing enough. Remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can. Don’t pressure yourself to do more because you “think you can handle it”–do what you can. You know whether or not you’re doing your best.
Don’t let chronic pain hold you back from spending time with your loved ones. If you know you have an event coming up, plan accordingly. Maybe you don’t go on a walk in the morning, maybe you get an extra hour of sleep, etc. Time with those important to us is so precious and can be gone in an instant. You may have to sit back for [most] things, but enjoy what you can and do what you can.
Living with chronic pain is not easy. Some days can seem so dark and as though all hope is lost. It can be frustrating to never get relief. These are the tips I’ve found help me deal with my chronic pain. I hope they can help those who suffer from chronic pain as well cope better.
Related: Confessional: My Reaction To The Devastating News About My Neck Injury
