After our first year of dating, it seemed like all anyone ever asked us was when we were going to move in together. We’d simply answer: “whenever we can”; because at the time, that felt right. Yet, as time went on and years passed, the questions became increasingly more annoying and constant.
My boyfriend has spent a decade in the public eye. He started out as a teen bodybuilder and built up a social media following at a young age. His YouTube channel (cheap plug for my man!) currently has a total of over 60 million video views worldwide. Since we’ve been together, I’ve slowly built up my social media following too. In 2015, I launched my own YouTube channel, and have worked on growing my brand and Instagram following as well. Between the two of us, we were berated constantly by the internet about us not living together or not having future wedding plans. I was constantly called “lazy” or “spoiled” because I was still living at home with my parents. No one could wrap their brain around the fact that our relationship was fine despite us not living together after dating for so long. I honestly think their minds would’ve exploded if they really tried to comprehend it.
The age difference between my boyfriend and I is 4 years, and the life changes at each stage of our lives has coincided perfectly. Together, we’ve matured and grown as individuals. When we began dating I was turning 18, and he had just turned 22. By that point, he’d already lived on his own, and he ended up finding a new apartment with his best friend. When the clock started ticking and the end of their lease got closer, we talked about the possibility of moving in together. At first I was for it, but quickly realized that I was nowhere near ready to live on my own, never mind move in with a significant other. I told him that I wasn’t ready to leave home just yet at eighteen going on nineteen years old, and he understood. He ended up renting out a house with two of his other friends for the following two years. There were times, of course, where he would get frustrated that we weren’t living together because he saw a lot of his friends moving in with their significant others. “I feel like we’re doing something wrong,” he’d vent to me sometimes. I always tried to be understanding; always reminding him that no one really knows what goes on behind closed doors, how old some people might be, or their history in relationships. I think from there we came to an unspoken, mutual understanding about the topic, because neither one of us really brought it back up again.
Fast forward 3 years into our relationship, and at 25 years old, my boyfriend buys his very first piece of property. A beautiful 3 floor, 2 bedroom, 2 bath condo. I even helped him decorate and furnish it (though he has impeccable taste and didn’t need much help). I was so proud of him! Right after our 4 year anniversary, when I was getting busier with wrestling and work, we discussed moving in together once again because the time we were spending apart was increasing rapidly and dramatically.
This is where things get a bit complicated.
Between the 4th and 5th year of our relationship we hit rough patches both as a couple and individually. It took us a good solid year—right until the time surrounding our 5th anniversary—to get our relationship fully back to where it’d been previously. After that, the topic of moving in together would occasionally come up, but I still didn’t feel ready. I was still recovering from my shoulder surgery and wasn’t released to go back to work at all. In my heart, I knew it still wasn’t the right time. Criticism from friends, relatives, and of course, the internet trolls continued, but we just kept moving along, confident in our relationship.
I knew I was truly ready to move out around the mark of our 5 and a half year anniversary (which we celebrated this past Christmas Day). I knew I was ready because I was becoming increasingly irritated living under the same roof as both my parents and two younger brothers. I love my family, but I knew I needed my own space. I felt like I needed to begin my own life and start doing things for me. I’d seek out solace in my boyfriend’s condo, and I felt most at home there. We discussed living together long and hard, and both of us agreed that now was the best time for us to finally take the next step and move in together. As terrified as I was to embark on this next chapter in my life (it was my first time moving out of my parents’ house ever, and I cried when I said goodbye to my thirteen year old brother), I moved into the condo on April 1, 2019. I can honestly say that we couldn’t be happier, and we feel so confident and so incredibly content in our relationship. After spending so long with each other—knowing the other one’s habits by heart, seeing everything there is to see about a person—has made it so our relationship has only flourished since moving in. There’s no bickering, arguing, fighting; nothing. How often do you hear about a couple who doesn’t complain about their partners annoying habits?
People constantly put time stamps on life, and I really wish they wouldn’t. In a world where people are continually going against the grain, they still stay so closed minded when it comes to traditional relationships. My boyfriend and I have experienced unwarranted opinions and critcism about it firsthand for years now.
Don’t ever let anyone pressure you into doing something you’re not ready for. In your heart, you’ll know when the time is right. The truth is, had my boyfriend and I rushed into living together simply because of the length of our relationship, I don’t think we would have made it through our rough patch. I just celebrated my 24th birthday, and my boyfriend turned 28 this past June. We had to grow into the people we are today. We both had some maturing to do in different areas of our lives, and I really believe that living together so soon would’ve only intensified that immaturity and put a strain on our relationship. I’m really proud of the fact that I stood so firmly in my belief of not moving out until I was absolutely ready. I didn’t owe anyone but my boyfriend an explanation about that. 💎
You made some nice points there. I looked on the internet for the issue and found most individuals will agree with your site.
I’ve been exploring for a bit for any high quality articles or blog posts on this sort of area . Exploring in Yahoo I at last stumbled upon this site. Reading this information So i am happy to convey that I’ve a very good uncanny feeling I discovered just what I needed. I most certainly will make certain to do not forget this site and give it a look regularly.