I am a firm believer in balance. I exercise five times a week, regularly eat pasta, indulge in dessert and snack on salad. Plus, I never pass up a good hot and dirty martini. What can I say? Everything in moderation. Which is why I’m thrilled more people are embracing and searching for healthy ways to drink alcohol. Case in point? The sober curious movement.
In a nutshell, the sober curious movement is all about drinking mindfully. When you do that, you naturally make healthier, smarter choices. So in the spirit of looking out for my readers, I tapped a sober curious expert for the healthiest ways to imbibe, guilt-free.
Kathryn Sauser
Kathryn Sauser is a sober curious mentor, health and fitness coach and founder of SoberFitGirl, a 1:1 coaching app for sober and sober curious women looking to build a life they don’t want to escape from.
To be clear: None of this is a substitute for professional medical advice regarding sobriety, especially for those in recovery. Rather, these tips are designed to help you transform your relationship with alcohol. It’s all about knowing why you’re pouring that glass, staying within your limits and not using alcohol as a coping mechanism for stress. If you or someone you love is struggling with alcohol, the SAMHSA National Helpline offers free, confidential support at 1-800-662-4357.
That being said, let’s get into it. Keep scrolling to learn five healthy ways to drink alcohol, according to a sober curious expert.
5 healthy ways to drink alcohol, according to an expert
Drink mindfully
Drinking mindfully is the crux of the sober curious movement. This means having the self-awareness to know why you’re drinking in the first place. This is important because a lot of drinking patterns are formed through habits, like having a glass of wine at the end of a long day. If you find yourself reaching for that glass automatically, pause for a moment and ask yourself what you’re doing. For some, this glass of wine may simply take the edge off; but for others, it may be a way to avoid dealing with deeper, more difficult emotions.
Of course, this is just one example, but Sauser suggests taking a step back and examining why and how you drink. Basically, you want to determine when you drink. Are you consuming when you’re upset, stressed or anxious? Does alcohol give you a reprieve from emotional distress you’d rather not deal with? More importantly, how does your drinking affect yourself and the people around you? Asking yourself these kinds of questions can be difficult. But gaining this insight is crucial to developing a healthy relationship with alcohol.
Develop healthy habits and coping mechanisms
According to Sauser, more people are realizing that alcohol isn’t always the answer when it comes to dealing with difficult emotions or situations. And having healthy habits and coping mechanisms to turn to when things get tough will help you avoid trying to numb the pain with alcohol. Exercising regularly, practicing yoga or Tai Chi, and having good sleep hygiene can also help with this, explains Sauser. These activities are great outlets for stress, and getting enough sleep will help you stay grounded when times get tough.
That said, if you are using alcohol as a coping mechanism, there’s a good chance unwanted, uncomfortable emotions will come up when you’re not drinking. “When this happens, try to be mindful of your thoughts and examine them without judgment,” Sauser says. “Try writing them down and come back to the present moment. If it gets overwhelming, take some time for yourself and reach out to a friend.”
Establish a strong support system
A strong support system is everything, especially on your sober curious journey. “[People] worry their relationships with their friends will suffer [when they stop drinking or drink less],” says Sauser. Contrary to popular belief, though, “not drinking doesn’t mean you have to give up on your friendships.” Instead, Sauser recommends finding alternative activities to do together and ways to connect. Think: coffee dates, walks, and so forth. This is also when having alcohol-free activities to lean on comes in handy.
At the end of the day, your inner circle should want the best for you, regardless of whether you’re partying like you used to. If you don’t have that with the people in your life now, Sauser encourages finding a support group or joining an online forum. Surrounding yourself with people who want to see you succeed is going to help you be more mindful and make smarter choices when drinking.
Figure out what works for you
“People often think drinking is an all-or nothing kind of thing, but it’s not that black and white,” says Sauser. “There’s a lot of gray areas in between.” Some people might feel their best completely sober, while others might feel good indulging occasionally or having a glass of red wine every night. Whatever the case may be, Sauser emphasizes: “It’s about taking the time to experiment and find what works for you.” By doing that, “you may find that you feel better reducing or removing alcohol from your life.”
This is why taking a step back and truly examining your relationship with alcohol is vital; if you don’t, it’s impossible to know what course of action will make you feel best.
Trust yourself and learn from your mistakes
At the end of the day, you know yourself better than anyone else. This is why Sauser stresses trusting yourself and staying confident in your decision, regardless of what anyone says. Also, don’t aim for perfection. “We all make mistakes and gain clarity and feedback through the slips of our journey,” Sauser explains. Instead of beating yourself up, she recommends taking time to reflect “and learn from any setbacks.”
For example, if you have a wild night out on a Tuesday and realize the following day that being hungover at work negatively impacts your performance, you might turn down the next happy hour invite or give yourself an early curfew. This is just one example, but being compassionate with yourself and holding yourself accountable by learning from your mistakes is vital.
In conclusion…
Ultimately, the sober curious movement isn’t about rules. It’s about understanding why you’re pouring that glass and being honest about what choices leave you feeling best the next morning (and the morning after that). For me, that means indulging in the occasional martini. For you, that might mean trading happy hour for a long walk — and that’s OK. There is no one-size-fits-all answer. However you choose to imbibe, do it with intention.
