*Although this article uses Mr. and Mrs. pronouns, it applies to all pronouns and gender identities.
In Ariana Grande’s song “Just Like Magic” off of her album, Positions, she belts out: “Manifest it, I finessed it… Just like magic, I’m attractive/I get everything I want ‘cause I attract it.” What Grande’s song is really talking about is the Law of Attraction. In the New Thought philosophy, the Law of Attraction is the belief that positive or negative thoughts bring positive or negative experiences into a person’s life. Basically: What you think is what you manifest—AKA make come true—and you attract what you believe you deserve.
It sounds simple, right? But the one thing people tend to forget about manifestation, though, is that in order to manifest something, you have to actively take steps to work towards it. You can’t just think about something and have it magically appear. You have to take the right steps in order to attract the things that you want. You can believe something all you want, but unless you’re actively making an effort to get to your end goal, it’s not going to happen.
The truth is, you can attract what you want, but it’s not going to happen by simply thinking or believing that it will; you can’t just magically will it into existence out of thin air—you have to work at it.
This applies to all areas of life—career, family, money, and yes, love. It is possible to attract Mr. or Mrs. Right, to manifest the relationship of your dreams, you just have to take the right steps to get there first. Keep on reading to learn the 7 hacks to attract Mr. or Mrs. Right, and manifest your dream relationship.
How to attract Mr. or Mrs. Right:
1. Let go.
If you’re still holding onto something, you’re blocking the pathway for new things to enter. This is true for all areas of life, including relationships. If you’re repeatedly wasting your time with people you know aren’t the right fit for you and your life, or you’re holding onto exes or past flings until you find something better, it’s time to let go of them. You can’t find the right one if you’re caught up in the wrong one. Let go of everything that doesn’t benefit or suit you in every aspect of your life.
2. Vibe higher.
Your vibe attracts your tribe, so needless to say that when it comes to finding Mr. or Mrs. Right, it’s important to be the best version of yourself. Make leveling up your energy a priority to attract the kind of person you want to be with. You can start by doing simple things like prioritizing time to take care of yourself and your mental, physical, and spiritual well-being.
3. Learn how to love yourself first.
We’ve all heard it before: you can’t love somebody else if you don’t love yourself. It’s a cliché, but it’s been used time and time again for a reason. It’s true that if you don’t know how to love yourself, you won’t know how to love someone else, or be loved by someone else. That lack of self-love will unintentionally drive partners away.
Start by looking inward and trying to heal from any past traumas and/or significant events in your life. From there, you can try things such as reflective journaling, deep breathing, meditation, or even seeking professional help (which, BTW, will help you tremendously and save you a lot of time, and we’re all for).
Loving yourself will also bring a lot of growth in your life, and it’ll bring you self-confidence. When you’re confident, you’ll be able to handle a relationship in confidence, thus giving you the relationship you crave; you won’t inadvertently create problems in the relationship that stem from insecurities and poor self-esteem.
4. Don’t discount friendships.
A lot of happy and healthy couples will say that their partner is their best friend. Relationships that are built on friendship are usually the ones that will last, which is unsurprising considering the well-known fact that lust fades over time and that emotional connection is what is left in it’s place. Find the friendship first, and the right, romantic relationship will follow. Don’t discount the friends in your life that you already have, either. There may be a romantic connection that’s been brewing under the surface there for awhile neither of you are aware of or acknowledged.
5. Be committed to what you want.
When it comes to deal breakers and non-deal breakers, it’s important that you know yours and stick to them. Having goals and values that don’t align—like say, you wanting to get married and have a family and your S.O doesn’t—is one of the most common reasons relationships end.
Figure out what your deal breakers are, and what you can be more flexible with—if you’re a neat freak, you don’t necessarily need to have a partner who’s one as well; tidiness is something you can come to a compromise on, while marriage and kids are usually not. Once you’re clear on what you want, be committed to it fully. Don’t settle because you’re scared of losing them or being alone; settling will only prevent you from opening up the possibly to attract Mr. or Mrs. Right.
6. Hold yourself to the same standards.
To be frank: hypocrisy is never a good look. You can’t manifest your dream relationship if you’re not exhibiting the behavior you find desirable, and not holding yourself to the same standards you would for a potential partner is only going to block the right person from coming in.
If you find that you’re not holding yourself to the same standards you might a potential partner, it might be a good idea to try and do some self-reflection to figure out where your actions are stemming from. Perhaps you’re subconscious is trying protect itself because you’re scared of getting hurt; maybe you’re not ready for a relationship and are subconsciously acting out this way because of it. Either way, try doing some self-reflection journaling, meditation, or even 15-20 minutes of quiet time to breathe deeply and silently ask yourself: what is it that I’m running from, why am I acting this way, why am I not holding myself to the same standards I would someone else? Asking yourself these questions in solitude may help you find the answer.
7. Don’t go looking.
Everything in life comes to you when you’re ready. Trust the universe, and know that Mr. or Mrs. Right will come when the time is right. It will happen. Things often come to us when we least expect them to, and when we stop trying to force things. As hard as it may be, fully surrender to the universe and to what will happen—don’t chase it, and don’t go looking. Trust the universe, and know that it will happen. If you surrender and let go, and follow he steps listed above, you will attract Mr. or Mrs. Right when the time is right, and ultimately get your happy ending.
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