Insecurities—we all have them. In fact, I believe one of the most awkward things about growing up and venturing into adulthood is the lack of confidence we feel along the way because we’re unsure of who we are. Although age does play a major role in our confidence, we sometimes take insecurities from childhood into our adult life.
It’s totally normal and a natural part of life to not feel so great about ourselves from time to time; it happens to everyone. Sometimes our insecurities may be brought on by a specific event, or maybe hormones are messing with your mind and making you feel terrible about yourself and everything in your life. (Been there, done that.) Whatever the case may be, just know you’re not alone. With that being said, there is no feeling that matches the one of when you’re truly comfortable in your own skin. Everyone deserves to feel flawless all of the time. This is Flawless World’s ultimate guide to self-confidence.
Find your passion
This is, in my opinion, the largest factor in finding self-confidence. Passions bring out the best in everyone—ambition, drive, hard work, happiness. I felt my confidence skyrocket when I began pursuing wrestling. It had been been my biggest passion for so long and it felt like something that was just for me and me alone. After my car accident, I turned to working on a novel, and now, blogging, for my creative outlet and because of my love for writing.
When you actively pursue or work on something you’re passionate about, you feel really good about yourself. Doing something you love brings out pure happiness from within and makes you feel proud of yourself. The best part about passions is that you can get lost in them, whatever they are.
There is no limit to what your passion can be. Perhaps it’s working out, or maybe it’s cooking; it can even be planting or reading—it can be anything you want! If there’s something you genuinely love doing, think about often, and feel pure bliss from it, it’s probably your calling. Find your passion, pursue it, and enjoy the rewards of feeling proud of yourself and heightening your self-esteem.
do you
If you follow me on Instagram, then you might’ve noticed that in all of my posts I always use the hashtag #doyou. It’s a hashtag I’ve been using for quite some time now, and one I really try to embody. I truly admire people who are authentically themselves, for themselves. When you embrace your life and who you are on your own terms, you create a life where there’s very little room for self-doubt or insecurities. Some small ways to live your life for yourself are:
Doing what makes you genuinely happy
There are so many little things I find so much joy in—reading, playing with makeup, going out to a fancy dinner with my boyfriend, going to church, crystals, Sunday dinner with my family. Recently, there have been times when I’ve felt down and have played around with makeup just for fun, and by the time I was misting setting spray on my face I felt rejuvenated and more like myself again.
Doing more of what makes you genuinely happy can help bring out the best in you and help you lead a more positive, fulfilled life. Authentic happiness helps create the ultimate confidence in yourself.
Acknowledging differences + embracing them
Can you imagine how boring the world would be if we were all the same? There’s a reason we’re all different, and while we’ll always have some similarities to others (i.e body type, hair color, interests, hobbies, etc), we’ll never all be one and the same.
For the longest time I struggled with body dysmorphia, and it wasn’t until I was about 22 when I finally started embracing my body. I’d never understood why I couldn’t get my legs or hips as thin as other women on Instagram no matter how hard I worked out, or why the diets that seemingly worked miracles for everyone else didn’t do a single thing for me. (Disclaimer: I am planning on doing a confessional on how I overcame my body dysmorphia soon.) Now, after embracing my curves, I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world!
It’s not a bad thing to acknowledge the fact that you’re different from someone else—what is bad is when you let those differences define you and bring you down. Instead, try to embrace all of the things about yourself that make you unique. It may take time and work, but eventually, you’ll feel better about yourself than you ever did before.
Positive affirmations
Affirmations are an amazing tool when it comes to hyping yourself up. When you say or think something often enough, you eventually end up believing it.
For example, when you stare at your reflection and analyze every inch of your body negatively, you probably step away from the mirror feeling bad about yourself and believing you’re all of those horrible things—but when you look in the mirror quickly and think to yourself hey, I really like the way I look today, you probably walk away feeling light on your feet and upbeat. Think about that! The power of affirmations can help you unlock your utmost self-confidence.
If you’re unsure of where to begin with positive affirmations, here are some easy things to try:
- Write in a journal one reason why you love yourself every day. This will help you get past all of the flaws you’re prone to seeing when you think about or look at yourself.
- Write down all or some of these mantras and repeat them daily, multiple times a day:
- I am enough as I am
- My body is beautiful
- I am doing my best
- I love myself and my body
- I am worthy
- I am becoming more confident every day
- For a week straight, write down five things you love about yourself every single day. Doing this will force you to find things you love about yourself on the surface level and beneath your skin; which only help you bring yourself up.
Give yourself a pat on the back every once in awhile
Most people don’t celebrate small victories or successes enough because they want to be humble. Somehow, a lot of us have it in our heads that celebrating ourselves makes us narcissistic. I myself was guilty of never acknowledging any of my wins in the past.
When you overcome a big challenge, it’s OK to admit that you’re proud of yourself. If you land your dream job, it’s perfectly fine to acknowledge that you nailed the interview. If you spent a long time putting together a meticulous outfit and someone tells you your outfit is amazing, there’s nothing wrong with taking the compliment.
Don’t downplay wins in your life, but don’t spend a lot of time gloating, either; you’ll know when you deserve to spoil yourself a little bit. Giving yourself a pat on the back when the time is right will help you build up your confidence because it’ll show you what it’s like to feel good about yourself, what you’re capable of, and teach you that you’re entitled to feeling that way. True confidence doesn’t equate to narcissism.
