Selfish. An adjective used to describe a person, action, or motive lacking in consideration for others; concerned mainly with one’s own personal profit or gain. Selfish, a word not typically used in a complimentary way when describing someone, yet sometimes putting yourself, your actions, and your motives first is absolutely necessary. You are no good to anyone if you don’t have a clear mind or clouded judgment.
There are telltale signs that will appear when you need to start putting yourself and your well-being first—and you most certainly shouldn’t feel bad about it. Below are the signs that show you need to start putting yourself first, and how you can make sure you make you a priority again.
Signs you need to start putting yourself first:
- If you find yourself in a situation that is no longer serving the purpose it once was or is making you unhappy, it might be time to re-evaluate where you stand. It’s easy to get caught up in the monotony of daily life and find yourself immersed in a certain routine; a routine that once made you comfortable and happy now makes you irritable, stressed, or annoyed. When that switch-up happens, it’s important to step back and figure out where those feelings are stemming from. Is it the situation, or is it just your reaction to things? If you narrow that down and find its the former, it’s most definitely time for a change.
- You may feel like all you do is give, give, give, and find that you now feel as though you have nothing left to give. This is a major warning sign that you need to start putting yourself first again. There are givers and there are takers in this world, and it’s not uncommon for those especially closest to us to want something from us. (Some more than others, of course.) A lot of times the people we’re closest to may not realize how much they’re asking of us, and it’s not usually intentional or malicious. If you feel as though you constantly give all of your time and energy to others and have nothing left for yourself, it’s time for a change. I personally fall into this a lot because I don’t like saying no to those I’m closest to, but I’ve learned through trial and error that it’s absolutely necessary sometimes because I need to take care of myself first and foremost.
- Lastly, if your mental health is compromised in any way, you need to make a change—there’s no way around it. Your mental health should always be #1, and if you don’t have it, you don’t have anything. For example, you may feel yourself unraveling slowly or like you’re slowly losing your grip on reality. Those two examples or ones akin are the first red flags that indicate your mental health is declining. Clouded minds distort reality, and you’re liable to make mistakes if you’re making decisions with compromised judgment.
How to make you a priority again:
If the signs listed above resonate with you, take that as a testament to the fact that you need to start putting yourself first again. Like I said above, your mental health, above all, is everything. The first thing you can do to get yourself, your mind, and your soul back on track is remove yourself from any and all negative situations and create boundaries. The best part about being cared for genuinely by others is that they are the ones who will understand if you need to take a step back and start putting yourself first again.
If it seems difficult to pull yourself out of multiple things at once, start slowly and work from there. Start by saying no to unnecessary favors. I’ve found that that two letter word is the perfect start to putting yourself first again and also helps the process of creating boundaries necessary for my well-being. I always feel guilty saying no people that I love and care about, so over time I’ve learned to balance when and when not to draw the line. Baby steps are key when it comes to this and will also lay out the lines that can and can’t be crossed down the road.
After you’ve started removing yourself from negative situations and creating boundaries, the next thing you should do is practice self-care. Soothing self-care pratices such as spa days, facials, exercise, exploring nature, reading, etc. will make you feel good about yourself and like you’re making time for yourself again. I personally cherish the time in the morning and night when I do my skincare routine because it makes me feel good and proud of the fact that I’m making the effort to take care of my body. This isn’t a very time-consuming self-care practice, either; it’s something simple that I do twice a day, seven days a week. Your self-care doesn’t need to be huge or take up your entire day, and it can be incorporated into your daily life.
It’s important to take time for yourself. No one in the world can get away with going, going, going, and never stopping because eventually they will hit a brick wall and fall apart. It may sound silly, vain, or even selfish, but when you make time for yourself and give yourself that extra care, you feel that much better because you’re making you a priority again. You’re showing yourself that you do still care about your mind, body, and soul. Doing things for yourself is a necessity at all ages.
Lastly, if you’re really drained, try giving yourself a mental detox. Like I said mentioned at the beginning of this post, you’re no good to anyone if your mind isn’t clear. Just as our bodies need to be cleansed from time-to-time with new diets or massages, our minds need to be cleansed as well. Try shutting your phone off or doing mindless activities. Block out all the unnecessary white noise. Whatever it is, allowing yourself the time to detox and recuperate will make you that much stronger, and also allow you to resume normal life more smoothly. You’ll find you’re able to think more clearly, you’ll be lighter on your feet, and you won’t feel like you’re drowning in problems. Don’t wait, start making sure you’re putting yourself first again today, later on, you’ll be grateful you did.
For more on what to do when you feel like your life is spiraling out of control, check out this post here.
