A little over a week ago, on September 1, 2020, I turned 25 and celebrated the one year anniversary of Flawless World. As I said in my most recent confessional, the upcoming day initially felt very bittersweet. This was because as much excitement as there was, it also marked exactly one month since the passing of my grandmother, and the first birthday without her here on this Earth. Admittedly, I wasn’t sure what to expect—but the day turned out to be better and more magical than I’d originally anticipated.
My boyfriends grandparents have a double waterfront property on the ocean here, in Rhode Island. It serves as a beach house for them and the rest of the family during the summer months. Since I love the beach, I decided to celebrate the day at the beach house with my boyfriend, closest friends, and family. I figured it would be a fun, low-key, and casual way to celebrate. What completely took me by surprise, though, was how much energy and effort my boyfriend put in to decorating the place, and how over-the-top he went with the food and drinks. (Food and drinks can really make or break a party.) I wasn’t expecting any of that! He made me feel so spoiled and love—and not because of the material things, but because of the lengths he went to to make sure I felt that way.
CAPTURED IN THE VIDEO BELOW: WHAT I WALKED IN TO:
I had no idea how I was going to feel about my grandma not being there. I wasn’t sure how big the gap in my family would feel, if my heart would ache when it sank in that she wasn’t going to be calling me or coming to my party, or even if being around other people who equally love and miss her would mask all of that. My boyfriend and I got to the beach house a couple hours before everyone else to get time for ourselves, and the two of us had a toast to my grandma. We both confessed to the other that we were getting a very warm feeling thinking of her. I felt like she was with me that entire day. I wasn’t sad, or felt like there was a big piece missing from my special day—in fact, it was quite the opposite. I knew she was there with me, I could feel her. I didn’t feel alone. I know she’s still watching over me and the rest of my family. I truly felt her spirit that day. It was such a beautiful gift to receive and have during that milestone.
Also, because cell service was especially bad that day, I was inadvertently forced to stay offline and social media. This was a great blessing in disguise because I was able to truly be in the moment during all of it. I felt so loved and grateful that entire day. There are so many difficulties we have to face in life, and this year has seemed like a blur. I almost can’t believe that my birthday’s already happened and we’re in September. But no matter the situation, it’s important we try to remember to stop and take it all in. Let go of worries, of things that don’t affect us. Control the things we can control and let go of those we cannot. I choose to find happiness in the places I least expect it, to take the comfort of familiarity with my family, to stop and enjoy things before they’re gone.
I have no idea what 25 has in store for me—Lord only knows—but I’m excited to see what’s to come. I’m ready. Below I’ve shared some more videos and pictures from my birthday and one year anniversary of Flawless World. I still can’t believe I launched this blog over a year ago now, and I’m so excited to continue growing! Thank you x a million to those of you who have come to this blog over the past year, I appreciate it more than you’ll ever know.
PICTURED BELOW: MY GIANT UNICORN AND I, AND ME OPENING PRESENTS! MY BOYFRIEND GIFTED ME A CONTOUR & HIGHLIGHT PALETTE I‘VE BEEN DYING FOR FROM KKW BEAUTY + 3 DIFFERENT GIFT CARDS!
CAPTURED BELOW: WHAT WE TOASTED TO MY GRANDMOTHER WITH. SHE LOVED CHAMPAGNE AND HAD IT EVERY NIGHT, AND THOUGH SHE PREFERRED NORMAL CHAMPAGNE OVER ROSÉ, IT FELT RIGHT TOASTING TO HER WITH SOME FORM OF LUXURIOUS BUBBLY.
MOOD ALL OF 2020 LOL
