There’s a reason athletes get ready and train before a big game or why we study before a major exam—it’s to prepare ourselves for the big day. Sex is kind of the same thing. Contrary to what almost every sex scene on TV has depicted, you cannot look into someone’s eyes, share a frenzied kiss, then rip their clothes off and go in. It just doesn’t work like that. You need foreplay.
Foreplay is everything you do before intercourse in order to create arousal and desire for sexual activity. It serves an emotional and physical purpose by getting both the mind and body ready for sex. That said, if you regularly engage in foreplay, things can feel redundant after awhile. This may even feel more true if you’re in a long-term relationship and have found a nice sexual rhythm with your partner. And just like you need to spice things up from time to time in a relationship, you need to shake up your sex life every once in a while, too.
So, if you want to transform your sex life and make foreplay hotter and better than ever, you’ve come to the right place. The next time you want to get it on, get prepped and primed like never before with one (or two or three) ideas from this list. Keep scrolling to learn the 12 foreplay tips and ideas that will change your sex life.
Hot foreplay tips and ideas:
1. Take it slow
Unless it’s hot AF outside, what’s the rush? Foreplay is the best time to build up the anticipation for what’s to come, and taking it slow will really allow you to savor it. Use this time to really connect with one another and build intimacy. If you want, you can even try edging during foreplay and resist the urge to orgasm right away. Spoiler alert: You’ll be happy you did.
2. Kiss
Kissing is a seriously underrated activity and act of foreplay. In fact, it’s known to help build intimacy and strengthen the connection between two people. Not only that, but it’s believed to release the love hormone—aka oxytocin—which can help you get in the mood.
Try starting off with kissing. Use this as a time to really explore each other with your hands, mouth, etc. This is a great starting point for foreplay as it will really allow you to slow things down and get you primed for arousal for what’s next.
3. Touch each other
Don’t be afraid to get creative with your hands! Use this as a time to explore each other’s body’s, and don’t be afraid to touch alllllll those sensitive areas—like the nipples, neck, ears, and so on and so forth. Plus, touching each other everywhere will help you both find which areas give you the highest points of stimulation.
4. Temperature play
Want to try something a bit kinkier but still stay in your comfort zone? Temperature play can help with that. Both heat and cold can add a lot of sensations to what you’re already feeling and really stimulate those erogenous zones.
If you want to keep things cool: If you’re giving oral, suck on an ice cube before getting to work (this works for all genders). If you have a vulva, have your partner run an ice cube from the back of your ears down to your flower pot, and make sure they hit all the spots in between. You can also try experimenting with cold sex toys or lube.
If you want to keep things warm: Regardless of who’s receiving oral, have the giving partner gulp down a mouthful of warm tea before getting to work. You can also try draping a very warm towel over your partner’s anatomy to help them relax and be open to arousal, or you can experiment with hot/warm lube.
5. Explore a new fetish or act out a fantasy
Spoiler alert: Part of being sexual is having your own fantasies and desires. So, try heating up foreplay by trying or acting one of them out!
Communicate beforehand and be open and honest with what you want to try; don’t be afraid to ask them what they want to explore, either. The most important thing is that you both feel safe, so be willing to compromise and come up with a plan ahead of time.
For all tips on how to safely explore sex fetishes, check out this article here.
6. Oral
The key to ahh-mazing oral sex is communication; tell your partner what you like or want in a way that doesn’t hurt their feelings but steers them in the right direction. If you’re just getting to know someone, it may take a few moments to figure out exactly what they like. Remember: Everyone is different, and pleasure will vary from person to person.
It’s also important to note that you can take your time with oral sex! There’s no need to rush through anything. Even if the goal of oral sex is to lead to orgasm, there’s no race to get there. Take your time exploring each other’s body, and don’t shy away from edging or a little bit of teasing when it comes to oral sex. There are numerous ways to get creative in this department, so don’t be afraid to experiment a little bit.
7. Give each other a massage
One of the best ways to get turned-on is by simply relaxing. Grab some lotion or your fave massage oil and get ready to relax each other into oblivion. Bonus points if you touch on the erogenous zones along the way.
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8. Talk dirty
Dirty talk can not only help you get in the mood, but it can also be an initiator for foreplay. This doesn’t have to be anything over-the-top, either—keep it simple by whispering in your partner’s ear and telling them exactly what you want. If you really want to amp up the anticipation, try sexting throughout the day.
9. Tease each other
This one’s pretty straightforward. Touch or kiss each other in a way that brings each of you right to the brink and leaves you wanting more. After a while, you’ll be desperate for their touch and brimming with anticipation. You can also try getting as close as you can to each other without actually touching (think: breathing on the back of their neck, etc.). This is another thing that’s bound to drive both of you crazy.
10. Get wet
ICYMI: there’s tons of shower sex positions that actually work, and getting wet in the shower of bath is a great way to engage in foreplay. After all, what’s steamier than making out and touching each other while you’re naked, wet, and lathered up with soap? Use this as a time to really explore one another before taking things somewhere dry.
11. Do a strip tease
Admittedly, doing a sexy dance for an audience of one isn’t something a whole lot of people in the world feel comfortable with. That said, though, it’s still a great way to up the ante during foreplay and get your partner excited for what’s to come. Besides, if you’ve got it, flaunt it!
Throw on an anthem that makes you feel like your sexiest, most confident, badass self, and have fun with it! Your partner’s guaranteed to enjoy it no matter what. If you want to take things up a notch, throw on some sexy underwear or lingerie underneath your normal clothes to surprise them.
12. Sex toys
Bringing a sex toy into the equation can be ridiculously hot. Plus, you can use it on erogenous zones while kissing, touching and exploring your partner.
PLAYBOY PLEASURE
Arch G-Spot Vibrator
This rabbit vibrator is unlike anything you’ve tried before. It’s compact with a flexible, girthy shaft for internal stimulation and external rolling beads for the clitoris.
MYSTERYVIBE
Tenuto 2
Penis owners will love MysteryVibe’s flexible vibrator. Not only does it help you get erect and stay erect, but it also works to simultaneously stimulate the clitoris for pleasure all around.
