Sexy spring cleaning, anyone? And I don’t mean cleaning around the house in some sexy clothes—I mean spring cleaning your sex life. But everyone is different, and spicing up things up is going to vary from person to person.
Enter the Enneagram: a system of nine personality types that helps us better understand how different people view the world, manage their emotions, and interact with each other. The Enneagram is all about self-awareness and learning more about ourselves and the ways we interact in relationships. The nine personality types include:
- The Perfectionist: The Rational, Idealistic Type: principled, purposeful, self-controlled, and perfectionistic
- The Helper: The Caring, Interpersonal Type: demonstrative, generous, people-pleasing, and possessive
- The Achiever: The Success-Oriented, Pragmatic Type: adaptive, excelling, driven, and image-conscious
- The Individualist: The Sensitive, Withdrawn Type: expressive, dramatic, self-absorbed, and temperamental
- The Investigator: The Intense, Cerebral Type: perceptive, innovative, secretive, and isolated
- The Loyalist: The Committed, Security-Oriented Type: engaging, responsible, anxious, and suspicious
- The Enthusiast: The Busy, Fun-Loving Type: spontaneous, versatile, distractable, scattered
- The Challenger: The Powerful, Dominating Type: self-confident, decisive, willful, confrontational
- The Peacemaker: The Easygoing, Self-Effacing Type: receptive, reassuring, agreeable, complacent
Based off of those brief descriptions from The Enneagram Institute, you can start to get an idea of which type you are. Of course, it’s never a bad idea to do some more in-depth exploration, but for now, let’s get back to the task at hand: Spicing up your sex life in a way that’s geared to your personality. Keep on reading to learn exactly how to spice up your sex life this spring, according to your Enneagram.
How to Spring Clean Your Sex Life, Based on Your Enneagram:
1. The Perfectionist: Schedule it
Type ones are considered the rational, idealistic type; they’re principled, purposeful, and self-controlled. Similar to the Virgo zodiac sign, they believe that everything in life must be in order. If you’re a type one, the best way to spice up your love life this spring is to start scheduling sex.
I know, I know—scheduling sex may seem like the least sexy thing to do, but hear me out.
When you know something’s coming up—whether it be a birthday party, wedding, holiday, event, etc.—there’s a buildup of anticipation leading up to the actual event. It’s marked on your calendar, and gives you something to look forward to.
Try scheduling sex at least once a week either with yourself or a partner. Make it the same day every time so you’ll have something sexy to look forward to. Oh, and you’re more than welcome to add more sexy days into your schedule as you go along.
2. The Helper: Simple yet passionate
Sometimes, there’s nothing sexier than a simple, slow burn in the bedroom. After all, what’s the rush? Type twos are naturally caring and generous people who are motivated by feeling wanted and being needed. If you’re a type two, focus on nurturing your connection with yourself or someone else by having simple yet passionate sex.
Turn the kink down a notch and go back to the basics; really indulge in pleasure. If you’re doing this with a partner, make sure your needs are being taken care of. Although you may have a tendency to put others before yourself, make sure you’re leaving each session satisfied. Doing this alone will also be a great way to help you get to know yourself better, and make you feel more comfortable being sexual.
3. The Achiever: Tantric sex
Tantra is an ancient Indian practice in which the spiritual is connected with the physical. Tantric sex is sex in which orgasm isn’t the main goal—it’s a slower and more mindful way to practice sex. It’s about bringing together spirituality and sexuality and emphasizing intimacy, as well as focusing on enjoying the heightened sensations you’re feeling and connection you’re experiencing.
Type threes are incredibly ambitious and success-driven, and when it comes to sex, they’re more likely than not to have their eyes on the prize: The orgasm. Instead of focusing on the grand finale this spring, start practicing tantric sex. For everything you need to know to get started, check out this guide here.
4. The Individualist: Talk that talk
Although type fours are more than capable of expressing themselves, they tend to be quiet and withdrawn. Which is why this spring, implementing some dirty talk into their sex life is the way to go. It’s time to open up and release those emotions while you’re doing the damn thing.
Communicate everything to your partner while you’re getting it on; tell them what you like, what you want them to do, how it feels… Yeah, you get the point. If you’re doing it alone, imagine what you’d say to a partner if they were there with you. Don’t be afraid to say your thoughts out loud, either.
Additionally, communicating during an intimate act is also going to make you more comfortable opening up and asking for what you need in and outside the bedroom. And let’s be honest—being able to openly talk with your current or potential partner is a win-win for everyone.
5. The Investigator: Dinner date
Spicing up your sex life doesn’t have to include sex. Type fives usually have difficulty putting themselves out there, and going on a dinner date is the perfect way for them to spice up their sex life this spring. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, this applies to you.
A good ol’ date will inadvertently force you to talk to each other, as well as give you an opportunity to stumble into stimulating, intellectual conversation (which we know you live for, type five). Getting more comfortable with and letting yourself be vulnerable is going to take your sexual experiences to a whole new level.
Related: Emotional Intimacy Issues? This Will Help
6. The Loyalist: Light bondage
Type sixes are naturally suspicious by nature, and have a hard time trusting others. If you’re a type six, it’s time to incorporate some light bondage into your sex life this spring. The goal of this is to help you work on trust and get out of your comfort zone. Besides, doing something that goes against your typically responsible nature is going to be so sexy.
The idea of incorporating bondage into your sex life may feel overwhelming, which is why starting slow is key. It may be a bit uncomfortable at first, and if you’re feeling overwhelmed, try to slow down and breathe through it. Talk to your partner ahead of time and establish a safe word so you can stop if it gets to be too much. Knowing there’s a safe word and an out should help calm your nerves.
If you’re alone, try closing your eyes or blindfolding yourself while you explore every part of your body; learn to trust yourself in the dark and get to know yourself and what you like better. This will also help make trusting others a little bit easier.
7. The Enthusiast: Switch up positions and places
No one knows, does, and loves adventure quite like a type seven, so this spring, it’s time to switch things up. Explore your versatility and adaptability by changing positions and switching up places every time you get it on, regardless of whether you’re doing it alone or with someone else. The key is to explore and engage in new experiences. Plus, there’s a whole world of kinky positions just waiting to be explored, and so many places you can do it.
Don’t be afraid to incorporate some spontaneity in there, either. Having a quickie in the middle of the day with yourself or someone else on a whim can be hot.
8. The Challenger: Go on a sex cleanse
Type eights are headstrong and have no problem going after what they want. They’re natural born leaders, but sometimes have difficulty maintaining self-control. Which is why if you’re a type eight, go on a two week sex cleanse.
But what does that mean? It means that for 14 days, you abstain from all sexual acts and getting off in any way, shape, or form.
But what’s the point? The point is that it helps you practice better self-control, increases desire, and break up any monotony you may currently be experiencing in your sex life. Going without something for a period of time is going to make it that much better when you finally do get it again. Abstaining is also going to help you get back in touch with and increase intimacy with yourself as well as a partner.
If you’re in a relationship, talk to your S.O about this ahead of time and make sure they’re on board with the idea; reiterate all the benefits of doing a cleanse. It’s important to remember that although you’ll be refraining from any sexual acts during this time, that doesn’t mean you stop being affectionate towards one another. You can still hug, kiss, cuddle, and communicate daily; after all, being affectionate with each other regularly is part of a healthy relationship.
9. The Peacemaker: Read or listen to erotica
Type nines are known as The Peacemaker Enneagram, and they’re known to be comfortable in complacency. This spring, step outside of your comfort zone by reading or listening to erotica with a partner or alone. Not only will this help you step outside of your comfort zone, but it will also help you learn more about what turns you on, and increase your sex drive. All of this will equate to a better and spicier sex life.
