Is Your Partner Crying Out For Attention? These are the Warning Signs

There are times in everyone’s life that are busier than others. It’s easy to get caught up in mundane daily tasks, or even bigger projects that consume all of our time and energy. When life happens, it’s also easy for us to allow all of the external factors that don’t directly affect us slip into the back burner—relationships being one of them. When this happens, it’s not uncommon for your S.O to cry out for attention. We all want to feel wanted, and when one partner in the relationship feels like they’re not getting enough attention, they’ll find ways to show it.

Relationships are a two way street, they’re all about give and take. At the end of the day, a relationship can’t work with only one functioning person, it takes two. People are allowed to get busy, and their partner should 100% support them if they’re following their dreams; but there’s a major difference between someone who’s busy and someone who’s indifferent toward their partner.

If your partner is showing the classic signs of someone who’s crying out for attention, it’s important to remember that it’s ultimately up to the both of you to identify and fix the issue. While you may feel unwanted, every relationship has certain boundaries that should never be crossed. I know that if I was caught up in work and began neglecting my man, him turning around and cheating on me would still be unwarranted. However, with that being said, when someone’s crying out for attention, they’ll usually stay in between the lines and won’t cross that point of no return.

Below are the signs of a partner who’s crying out for attention. These are the key signs, and what the two of you can do to fix and overcome the issue.

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Signs they’re crying out for attention:

• One of the biggest signs someone’s crying out for attention is if they begin seeking artificial attention elsewhere. This will usually include things like posting more revealing photos online, dressing in more revealing clothing, and even getting more friendly with people they normally wouldn’t be friendly with. A partner who feels unwanted will usually do things like this to prove a point to both their partner and themselves. By getting outside validation, they’re proving that they’re still desirable. Being with someone and still feeling alone will often cause people to lash out.

• If your partner seems more distant but hasn’t pulled away from the relationship completely, there’s a good chance they’re trying to tell you that they feel neglected without actually verbalizing it. Oftentimes, a partner who’s feeling neglected will retreat into themselves because they’re scared of bothering their S.O with their problems, and more importantly, having their S.O confirm their worst fears: that they’re not into them anymore, and that’s why they haven’t made the effort. Lack of communication is also a big sign in this as well. It’s not unusual for your partner to not know exactly why they’re feeling the way they do and where it stems from, so it’s only natural that they shy away from the topic and try to keep moving along like everything is fine.

• Lastly, if your partner begins making more of an effort in their appearance or switching it up, they’re probably crying out for attention. Paying more attention to exercising and eating right, changing a hairstyle or hair color, and mixing up fashion style are all typical signs of this. More often than not, if your partner feels like you’ve forgotten to cherish them, they’ll usually view that as a direct reflection on themselves, causing them to drastically switch things up. This shouldn’t be confused with someone who is simply trying to look and feel good about themselves. Pay attention to the timing. If you’ve been busier and more preoccupied as of late when they begin doing this, that’s a good indicator of where their head’s at.

How you can approach + overcome the situation:

If the signs listed above remind you of your S.O, there are ways you can address the situation and overcome it if you want to keep your relationship intact. Chances are, you’ve probably just been caught up with life recently and haven’t realized a changed behavior in your relationship and toward your partner.

The first thing you should do is sit down and talk with your partner. I always say this, but communication truly is key in all relationships. Go into the conversation with an open mind and be willing to listen. If you’re stubborn and aren’t open to constructive criticism, you’re not only going to confirm your S.O’s worst fears, you’re going to make the situation worse. If there’s a small fire, don’t throw oil on it.

During the conversation you may find yourself thinking that your partner is overreacting or being ridiculous, but before you discredit their emotions, try putting yourself in their shoes and seeing things from their perspective. Taking yourself and your ego out of the equation can be extremely effective. In turn, try explaining to your partner how you’re feeling. If you feel like you haven’t neglected them or have been caught up in a big project, make sure they know that. The back and forth dialogue will help the two of you come to a conclusion and resolve the issue together.

Lastly, being more present and making more of an effort is huge when it comes to making your partner feel wanted again. For me, if I’m feeling neglected, something as little as my boyfriend showing an interest in my work is huge because it makes me feel like he’s actually paying attention to me and invested in my life. A little bit goes a long way, and your S.O will be grateful for all of it. Life isn’t black and white, and every relationship is different. Just make sure you’re doing the best thing for you and your partner.

What to do if those signs resonate with you:

If you’ve just read the signs listed above and feel like you’re demonstrating some or all of them, don’t panic, the situation can be fixed. I myself have cried out for attention in the past, and am now in the healthiest, most loving relationship I could ever ask for. If you’re able to read the signs listed above and correctly identify and resonate with them, congrats, you’ve already taken the first step in fixing and overcoming the issue!

It’s true what they say, you will not have a healthy relationship if you don’t have one with yourself first. Sometimes we may be crying out for attention because of the way we feel about ourselves inside. I know in the past when I kept myself guarded and let little insecurities get to me, I’d lash out in my relationship. (For more on how I overcame that, check out this article here.) You may be feeling unwanted because of unresolved inner issues, insecurities, or even a lack of passion and excitement in your life. Before you do anything, try figuring out why you’re feeling the way you do and where it stems from.

Now, none of that is to discredit the way your partner may be making you feel—you could be feeling unwanted from your own turmoil, from lack of attention from your S.O, or maybe even a little bit of both. Wherever the problem stems from, honesty is key when it comes to fixing and overcoming it. Don’t be afraid to be honest with your partner about why you’re feeling the way you do. If you feel neglected, make sure you tell them. As nice as it would be sometimes, your partner isn’t a mind reader and doesn’t know exactly how you’re feeling.

In the past I have both communicated right away, and also lashed out when I felt like I wasn’t getting attention from my man. I can honestly say that communicating was much more effective because it got to the heart of the issue and allowed my boyfriend to work on fixing the problem. When I began lashing out, I did so because I was worried my boyfriend would think of me as “needy” and therefore wouldn’t give me the attention I thought I was missing and deserved. It’s not uncommon to be worried about being perceived as a “needy” person; slapping that label on someone can sometimes feel like the ultimate kiss of death. I never talked about how I was feeling and lashed out instead because I was terrified of my feelings being invalidated or not taken seriously. I’m not justifying that behavior—and I never, ever crossed that line to the point of no return—but those actions didn’t accomplish anything. My boyfriend still didn’t know I was feeling neglected, and I began to not understand why I was acting the way I was. Looking back now, after we’ve fixed and overcome the issues to get to where we are today, we’re both are able to recognize where that behavior came from.

Try communicating with your partner rather than crying out for attention. Not only will communication be much more effective, you’ll also feel better about yourself in the end. Lashing out can cause unnecessary problems for you and your relationship, whereas communicating gets right to the point. Your partner will also be grateful for your honesty. You deserve to be in a relationship full of love and desire, and if your partner won’t give you that, well, then you know you can take your attention elsewhere.