Supporting your partner is absolutely necessary in a relationship, but it’s equally necessary that you have a life of your own and things just for yourself. Having a partner with similar interests to yours will keep dinner conversations forever easy and interesting, but how do you tow the line between giving your all to your partner and making sure you still take care of yourself?
Below I’ve broken down the best ways to achieve the ultimate support of one another while living your own, most flawless life. Keep on reading to find out how.
Set boundaries
This is invaluable to the success of your relationship. Neither one of you should expect the other’s world to solely revolve around you and you alone, and vice versa; that’s just unfair and is going to cause a rift between you two in the end. Instead, make sure you both set boundaries on what’s truly important and what’s not.
What I mean by setting boundaries is that you and your partner should get in the habit of asking—not expecting, never expecting—favors of each other when it’s absolutely necessary. In my relationship, whenever my boyfriend needs me to help him film something, he’ll ask me about a week or so in advance. This not only gives me a heads-up, it makes me feel like he doesn’t expect me to just drop whatever I have going on at his beck and call. The same goes for me whenever I need his help with something, too. We make sure to set boundaries and keep the other one in mind when we’re doing favors for each other, and only ask whenever it’s absolutely necessary in order to avoid building resentment. Also, people oftentimes take their relationships and their S.O for granted. You’ll see this by the way they talk to their partner and demand things from them. If you wouln’t talk to or demand anything from a friend or family member, what makes justifies that behavior in your relationship? This is again another way setting boundaries helps avoid that mistreatment and helps prevent pent-up resentment from building.
Boundaries are important when it comes to protecting your mental health and wellbeing in general, and they’re equally important in protecting your relationship.
Make yourself available when it’s important
With that being said, if your partner asks something of you, it’s also important that you make yourself available if possible. If your S.O is only asking something of you because they absolutely have to, you should try to make the effort to be available for them. There have been so many times my boyfriend has been there for me when I’ve needed him and the other way around as well. Him making himself available to help me is priceless and shows me that he cares about my success by making sure he’s there when it matters most. Make time for your relationship by helping out your partner when they need it, this will only strengthen the relationship and the bond between the two of you.
Show up + be present
When you’re supporting your partner it’s imperative that they know you’re there and that you’re present. Nothing is worse than being around someone who’s mind is elsewhere. It’s also good to let your partner know you’re there for them and them alone by puttting aside your feelings at the moment and not making something important to them all about you. Don’t bring any negativity into their space.
For example, say you’re having a really off day, maybe your hormones are all out of whack and you feel like a ticking time-bomb—rather than allowing those irrational emotions to overtake you, keep them in check by prioritizing your S.O’s needs above your own for the moment. Bad vibes are real, and a supportive partner will be aware of their mood and how it’s affecting their S.O.
Be open + honest when things become too much
If you feel like you’re being drained, and your mental health and wellbeing are suffering, your partner deserves to know. Open up the dialogue honestly and in a way that doesn’t make them feel attacked. Make sure you let them know that you love them and will always support them, but you need to take a minute to make sure your mind is harmonized and balanced. Running yourself into the ground and putting yourself on the back burner can let in fear and insecurities, which will only eventually eat away at you and can also build resentment towards your S.O. Explain and remind your partner that you’re no good to them if you’re not 100%, and reiterate the fact that when you finally are, you’ll be able to be present and there for them when needed.
The goal is to do things together, side-by-side, until the end of time
At the end of the day, keeping certain things for yourself is beneficial for both of you. Curating things for yourselves will give you the confidence you need to make your relationship successful, and sharing similar interests equally so. Supporting your partner while living your own life will bring added-depth to you personally and to the relationship as a whole.
