One thing I learned in elementary school that I’ve never forgotten is the fact that, at the end of the day, the only thing that makes the world go ‘round is money. It’s a life lesson everyone’s aware of, though something most of us probably don’t stop and think too hard about because it’s such a given. Money is at the root of pretty much everything in life, and though money can’t buy you happiness, it sure can help alleviate some unwanted stress from time-to-time.
It shouldn’t be surprising that money problems are oftentimes a major root of tension for most couples. Money problems have the potential to strain, and eventually damage relationships to the point of no return. Now, with the pandemic and loss of jobs and reduced income, a lot of couples have found themselves on edge, unable to smoothly navigate these new waters. Being able to work through times when money is tough and get yourself back on a good path again will not only be beneficial for you individually, it’ll be good for your relationship as well. Almost everyone in the world experiences ups and downs when it comes to money, and with the right outlook and steps, you can get yourself to a place where money is no longer an issue anymore.
But how do you do that when it’s become a major source of tension in your relationship? I’ve broken it down below. Keep on reading to learn tips for dealing with money problems as a couple.
Tips for dealing with money problems as a couple:
- Get real about finances. The first thing you should do is sit down and have an open and honest conversation about money with your partner. You both need to be explicitly clear on what’s going on, and why money’s been so tight. In order for this to happen, both of you need to be able to be real with yourselves about where you stand with your finances. Once you’ve done that, coming together to talk about everything will be much easier. Even if you’re both struggling and you don’t know why, admitting to each other that you’re stressed because of money will lift some weight off your shoulders.
- Break down your bills and income. The next thing you should both do together is break down all of your bills—rent, mortgage, car payments, internet, cell phone bills, groceries, etc.—as well as your monthly income. Laying all of this out will give you both a clear path to where all of your money is going, and where you’re spending extra.
- Make a plan together. Once everything’s all laid out, you’ll want to make a plan together on how you’re going to spend from now on until money isn’t tight anymore. Maybe you both agree that you won’t be grabbing takeout anymore, that you’ll only spend money if you absolutely have to, etc. Whatever the case may be, making a plan together will inadvertently force the two of you to hold yourselves accountable when it comes to spending. Also, make sure your plan is clear about enforcing necessary lifestyle changes until you’re back on your feet again. If you’re stressed about money, you both may have to get comfortable with the idea that going out with friends won’t work for the time being.
- Don’t enable. Every couple’s finances are going to look different. Some couples may have joint and separate accounts, others may have just one joint account, and some may only have separate accounts. If you’re in a position where both of you each still have your own bank accounts and one person is short for their end of bills this month, don’t enable them by covering them. You may think you’re helping out at first or even avoiding a fight, but this is only going to be harmful for both of you in the long run. They’ll never get their priorities straight and get better at spending and saving if they know they have you to fall back on.
- Set aside money if you have to. If one of you is getting better with spending than the other, you may want to consider setting aside the money that’s needed to cover your monthly bills. Doing this will help you sleep better at night, and you won’t be left wondering if you’re going to be able to make your payments for that month; you want to be protected. If your partner’s spending becomes too out of control, it may be time for a professional to intervene.
