11 Signs You’re Totally Ready to Get Engaged

An engagement may seem like a chance to show off a flashy ring and gush about your spouse-to-be, but it’s so much more than that. It’s the precursor to marriage. The truth is, an engagement is a huge milestone, and it shouldn’t be taken lightly; so it’s imperative that you don’t do it before you’re ready. Which begs the question: How do you know when you’re ready to get engaged?

Granted, every couple is different. And while there is no “right” time to get engaged, there are some clear signs that mean the time is right.

That said, the most important thing to remember is that doing what you and your S.O. feel comfortable with is key. After all, getting engaged is so much more than a box to check off on the way to saying “I do.” Keep scrolling to learn the 11 signs that mean you’re totally ready to get engaged.

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Signs you’re ready to get engaged:

1. You know why you want to get married and are doing it for the right reasons

Sit with yourself and think about why you want to get married. Do you want a wedding, or do you want a marriage? There’s a clear difference between the two, and your priority should be the latter.

It’s also important to make sure that you’re doing this for the right reasons. Moving forward with an engagement because you think it’ll fix problems in your relationship or because you think it’s what you’re supposed to do will not set you up for success.

2. Your plans for the future match up

You don’t have to be identical to your partner in every single way, but your overall values and plans for the future should line up. If you and your partner have opposite life goals, you’re going to have difficulty finding common ground on a lot of things; there will be a lot of unnecessary strain in your marriage. In truth, it’s unfair to both of you to get married when your plans for the future don’t match up.

3. You feel fulfilled in your own life

If you’re unhappy or feel like you’re lacking in any area of your own life, marriage is not going to change that. Sure, planning a wedding may take your mind off of it for a little bit, but once the planning is done and you’ve said your vows, you’ll still be left with those same feelings.

If you feel unfulfilled in your own life, it’s important you address it and work towards finding peace on your own before you get engaged. If you don’t, you’ll struggle to find happiness, and the marriage will be over before it has a chance to begin.

4. You’ve talked to each other about getting married

Although engagements are typically a surprise, they’re not something that should be sprung on someone. It’s important to make sure that you’re both on the same page with everything before the proposal.

In addition, if marriage has been on your mind, it’s important that you talk about with your S.O. Make sure to bring it up when you’re alone, and effectively communicate your thoughts and feelings on the subject. Being able to discuss marriage and plans for the future before getting engaged is a sign of a strong relationship with healthy and strong communication.

Related: Weddings: Are They Really Worth the Debt?

5. Timelines aren’t a factor

People still expect couples to get engaged after a certain amount of time together. But there is no “right” time to get engaged, and when it comes down to it, you and your partner have to do what you feel comfortable with. At the end of the day, an engagement and marriage is between you and your partner—no one else. Both of you have the power and freedom to honor your own beliefs and thoughts, and that includes when you get engaged.

6. You’ve discussed the 9 big things

There’s a lot to talk about before an engagement, but there are 9 major topics that should be discussed. Those topics include:

• Finances
• Children
• Religion
• Goals for the future
• Communication
• How your life may or may not change as a married couple
• Plans to keep the spark alive
• Your families’
• Whether or not one of you is going to change your last name

It’s important to talk about these things before the proposal so you can plan your wedding and get ready for the rest of your life together without the stress of these topics hanging over your head.

7. You’ve lived through ups and downs

No one is exempt from dealing with ups and downs in life, which is why experiencing rough patches as a couple before you get married is crucial. Knowing how to handle and resolve conflict as a team will help prevent it from tearing your relationship apart.

8. You have strong communication skills and can lean on each other

Communication is key in all relationships. Without it, disagreements or conflict can’t be resolved, stress will be suppressed, and resentment will build up over time. Having strong communication skills shows that you’re ready to take the next step in your relationship.

On the other hand, if you feel like communication between you and your partner needs improvement, take the time to work on that before getting engaged; ignoring it will only suppress it, and it will put a strain on your marriage in the future.

Additionally, being able to lean on each other is also another sign that you’re ready to get engaged. It shows that you support one another and can open up to each other in times of need, your relationship is strong, and you’re both comfortable being vulnerable with one another.

9. There’s nothing you would change about your life and relationship

If there’s something you dislike or would change about your partner and the relationship, you should not get engaged. Plain and simple. True love doesn’t want to change another, and you should only want to marry someone because you love them as they are.

This also applies to your life individually. If you’re unhappy with where you are or are wondering what else is out there for you, you’re not ready for the next step. Sure, getting engaged and married will probably change your life dramatically—in a good way, of course—but it won’t solve anything. When it comes down to it, you shouldn’t want to change your life.

10. You both feel ready for marriage

Getting engaged is a big deal, so it’s important to make sure you’re both fully committed to one another. You both should feel ready for an engagement and marriage; no one should feel pressured or rushed in to anything. It should be something you both want to do because you genuinely love each other and are in it for the long haul.

11. You’d be fine with eloping

To circle back to the first point: Do you want a wedding, or do you want a marriage? If you chose the latter, chances are, you’d be fine with eloping. If you truly want to be with someone, it won’t matter where or when you tie the knot; having a lavish and elaborate ceremony, the biggest ring, and a couture wedding dress or tux won’t be your priority.

However, that’s not to say you can’t be excited about planning a wedding, going shopping for an engagement ring, wedding dress, or tuxedo—because it’s fine if you are; it is an exciting thing. It simply means that you would be OK getting married in any setting, regardless of where it is and what you’re wearing. If you’re comfortable with eloping, you still have every right to plan the wedding of your dreams! All that matters is that you get engaged and say “yes” to spending the rest of your life with this person for the right reasons.