Love Bombing: 8 Signs It’s Happening to You

Feeling wanted by your partner is a great thing. And nothing’s more blissful than the initial stages of a relationship. Which is why grand gestures of love and affection are common during the honeymoon phase. But sometimes, there can be something more sinister underneath those compliments, gifts, and declarations of love: love bombing.

Love bombing is an attempt to influence a person with over-the-top demonstrations of attention or affection. This is often in the form of compliments, gifts, intense attention, and outlandish declarations of love. Love bombers use this tactic as a way to manipulate and win over someone else.

That said, while spotting a love bomber may sound easy enough, it’s oftentimes easier said than done. Which is why I set out to find the biggest signs that mean you’re being love bombed. Keep scrolling to learn more.

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Love Bombing: 8 Signs It’s Happening To You:

1. They shower you with lavish gifts

While most people enjoy showering and surprising their partner with gifts from time to time, love bombers take it to a whole new level. Not only will their gifts be over-the-top, but they’ll also be the kind of gifts that put you in a position where you can’t say “no” (think: a surprise getaway, etc.). Likewise, love bombers also love attention, so they’ll also go out of their way to surprise you with gifts in front of others (think: sending flowers to your workplace and so on).

Admittedly, this behavior might seem innocuous enough at first, but over time, they’ll make you feel guilty or fearful of saying “no.” They may also make you feel indebted to your partner. Furthermore, love bombers may also use their gifts as something they can hold over your head.

2. Use of excessive flattery

Love bombers are master manipulators, and they’re not above using flattery to get what they want. While there’s nothing wrong with complimenting your partner, a love bomber will shower you with compliments that are excessive, over-the-top, and insincere. Any exaggerated declarations of love right away such as: “I can’t imagine my life without you” or “I’m more complete now that you’re with me,” may indicate love bombing.

3. They move way too fast

There’s nothing wrong with knowing what you want and being upfront with someone about it, but love bombers tend to move too fast, too soon. They love rushing into things, and have no trouble planning for your future together immediately. Likewise, they also tend to want commitment right away and will try to fast-track your relationship in any way they can. And when it comes down to it, relationships are meant to be savored, not rushed.

4. They clone themselves to be like you

Having common ground with your partner is a good thing, but a love bomber will chameleon themselves to be exactly like you. They’ll agree with everything you say, share the same opinions, and coincidentally have all of the same hobbies and interests. The problem with this behavior? It’s insincere and malicious, and used as a way to make you fall in love with them.

5. They disregard your boundaries

PSA: Boundaries are important in all relationships, and anyone who genuinely cares about you will respect them. A love bomber, on the other hand, will completely disregard your boundaries. They may exhibit pushy behavior like showing up at a bar when you’re out with your friends or staying with you after you’ve repeatedly told them that you have to get up early the next day.

6. They’re clingy and demanding

Love bombers want to be the center of your whole world and may turn to childish behavior when they’re not. This could include moping around, pouting or giving you the silent treatment while you’re on the phone or if you have other plans that don’t involve them. They’ll act this way in order to capture your attention and make you feel bad enough to cancel your plans or stop “ignoring them.”

When it comes down to it, love bombers are clingy and demanding because they don’t want to be separated from you. Nothing is scarier to them than loss of control over their partner. Also, they may use this behavior as a way to alienate you from your friends and family so they can have you all to themselves.

7. Their intensity is overwhelming

Love bombers are basically romantic energy vampires. You’ll likely feel drained after spending time with them because they never seem to turn down the charm or stop running at a high intensity. Being in the presence of a love bomber may feel intense and overwhelming. And it’s important to remember that true love is respectful, not overbearing.

8. Your gut tells you something is off

If your gut tells you something’s off, it’s probably because there is. And sometimes things may seem too good to be true because they are. If you’re anxious, unbalanced, or don’t feel like yourself around them, you might be being love bombed.

At the end of the day, always trust your gut; it usually knows what’s best. If you suspect you’re being love bombed, reach out to a trusted confidant, like a friend or family member, therapist, etc. to discuss your suspicions. They’ll likely be able to guide you in the right direction. Likewise, be sure to set clear boundaries with your partner. Remember: Love bombing is toxic and a major red flag. Oftentimes, it signals an unhealthy relationship in the making.