Body Language: What To Look For on a First Date

In the world of first dates, where everything’s filled with mystery, body language is perhaps the biggest and most powerful communicator of all. The way we hold ourselves, the way we engage in conversation—everything we do with our body is, quite literally, talking for us. Which begs the question: What body language signs am I supposed to look for on a first date?

It’s natural to want to break down every little thing. Did that slight head tilt mean they were listening, or were they being condescending? Did they lean into me, or were they reaching for something? Although there might not be a clear answer 100% of the time, learning how to read body language can help while navigating the dating scene.

So, allow me to introduce to you the 11 body language signs to look for on a first date. Knowing what to look for will save you a lot of time and energy in the dating world. Keep scrolling to learn more.

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Body Language Signs To Look For on a First Date:

1. Leaning in

If your date is leaning into you, that’s a good sign! This signals that they’re interested in you and what you have to say because they want to learn more about who you are. Plus, it also means they’re fully engaged in the convo.

2. Eye contact

Good eye contact can lead to a strong emotional intimacy. If your date is maintaining good eye contact, this not only means they’re listening and interested, but it also means that they want to get closer to you as well. It’s also a sure sign that your date is present, which is a good thing. If it seems like they’re struggling with making good eye contact due to nerves, try to cut them some slack; some people are better at it than others.

3. Fidgeting

In contrast, someone who’s uncomfortable is going to have a harder time sitting still and keeping their eyes locked on yours. If your date’s fidgeting and looking at everything else but you, they’re probably uncomfortable and looking for a way out. Of course, part of this could be nerves, but a date who’s nervous won’t be eyeing the door or scanning for exit signs as you’re talking. The latter is a red flag.

4. Being open and warm

A relaxed posture (think: arms at your sides or in your lap or on the table), genuine smile, and friendly face are all good body language signs. So if your date’s body and face is open and warm, that’s a good thing! This shows that they’re not only trying to welcome you into their life but also put you at ease so the date goes well for both of you. Likewise, it also suggests that they’re willing to see where the connection goes.

5. They’re tongue-tied

We all know what it’s like to experience those notorious first date jitters. If your date’s tongue-tied, try to put them at ease by keeping your posture and tone relaxed and welcoming. And if they stumble over their words, reassure them that it’s no big deal and laugh it off together. Putting your date at ease like this will help them shake off those nerves and really get the date going.

6. Awkward or uncomfortable demeanor

If someone looks awkward or uncomfortable for the duration of the date (think: rigid posture, sweating profusely, using short, jerky movements, etc.), they’re not the one for you. Granted, some people take longer to open up than others, but nerves tend to settle once you get over the initial introduction and preamble.

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RELATED: 6 First Date Conversation Starters To Build a Connection

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7. Leaning away

Sadly, there’s no way to sugarcoat this. Someone who’s not feeling a connection is more likely to lean away from you rather than lean in to you. If your date has their arms crossed or is angling their body away from you, they’re trying to create a barrier between you and them.

8. Really listening to you

I think we can all agree that one of the most aggravating feelings is when you feel like you’re talking to wall. Therefore, it’s a green flag if your date’s really listening to you. Think: Maintaining eye contact, nodding along as you’re talking, and engaging in the conversation.

9. Rushing the conversation

Sadly, rushing the conversation is also a red flag. Trying to move things along implies they’re not invested in the date or you.

10. Light, playful touch

While there are universal physical boundaries for first dates, lightly or playfully touching isn’t one of them. This could be anything from affectionately touching your arm, hugging you, or placing their hand on your back as you walk out the door. Whatever it is, this type of touch is affectionate and romantic; it shows their interest without crossing a line, which also demonstrates that they respect you. If you want to open up the door for this kind of touch, try keeping your hands within reaching distance and seeing if your date picks up on your body language.

11. Mirroring your behavior

Lastly, mirroring your behavior is also a good sign. For example, if you lean into them and they follow suit, this suggests they want to be closer to you. Mirroring each other’s behavior is a sure way to establish a connection faster. More importantly, it means you’re both on the same page.