Body Language: What To Look For on a First Date

In the world of first dates, where everything’s filled with mystery, body language is perhaps the biggest and most powerful communicator of all. The way we hold ourselves, the way we engage in conversation—everything we do with our body is, quite literally, talking for us. Which begs the question: What body language signs am I supposed to look for on a first date?

It’s natural to want to break down every little thing. Did that slight head tilt mean they were listening, or were they being condescending? Did they lean into me, or were they reaching for something? Although there might not be a clear answer 100% of the time, learning how to read body language can help while navigating the dating scene.

So, allow me to introduce to you the 11 body language signs to look for on a first date. Knowing what to look for will save you a lot of time and energy in the dating world. Keep scrolling to learn more.

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Body Language Signs To Look For on a First Date:

1. They lean in

If your date is leaning into you, this means that they’re interested in you and what you have to say; they’re also fully engaged in the convo. It’s also a sign that they want to both learn and hear more from and about you.

2. They maintain good eye contact

Good eye contact can lead to a strong emotional intimacy. If your date is maintaining good eye contact, not only does it mean they’re listening and interested, but it also means that they want to get closer to you as well. It’s also a sure sign that your date is present, which is a good thing. If it seems like they’re struggling with making good eye contact due to nerves, try to cut them some slack; some people are better at it than others.

3. They’re fidgeting and avoiding eye contact

On the other hand, someone who’s uncomfortable is going to have more difficulty sitting still and keeping their eyes locked on yours. If your date’s fidgeting and looking at everything else but you, they’re probably uncomfortable and looking for a way out. Constantly looking towards the door is also another example of this. Basically: If they’re looking at everything else but you, it’s a red flag.

4. Their body and face is open and warm

A relaxed posture (think: arms at your sides or in your lap or on the table), genuine smile, and friendly face are all good body language signs. So if your date’s body and face is open and warm, that’s a good thing! This is a sign that they’re trying to welcome you into their life and put you at ease; which will help the date run smoother. Likewise, it also means they want to get to know you more and see where this could go.

5. They’re tongue-tied

We all know what it’s like to experience those notorious first date jitters. If your date’s tongue-tied, try to put them at ease by keeping your posture and tone relaxed and welcoming. And if they stumble over their words, reassure them that it’s no big deal and laugh it off together. Putting your date at ease like this will help them shake off those nerves and really get the date going.

6. They look uncomfortable

Although some people take longer to open up than others, it’s a red flag if they look uncomfortable throughout most of the date. Rigid posture, sweating profusely, and short, jerky movements are some common signs of this.

7. They’re leaning away

Sadly, there’s no way to sugarcoat this. Someone who’s not feeling a connection is more likely to lean away from you rather than lean in to you. If your date has their arms crossed or is angling their body away from you, they’re trying to create a barrier between you and them.

8. They really listen to you

Regardless of the situation, nothing’s worse than feeling like you’re talking to a wall. This is why it’s a green flag if they really listen to you. Maintaining eye contact, nodding along as you talk, and engaging in conversation are all good signs. This means they’re really hearing you out and listening to what you have to say because they want to learn more about you.

9. They’re rushing the convo

Rushing the convo is also a red flag. After all, someone who wants to get to know you won’t constantly interrupt you when you’re talking or try to move the convo along faster. Not only this is this rude, but it also means their mind is elsewhere.

10. There’s a light, playful touch

While there are physical boundaries your date shouldn’t cross (unless you both agree to it), a light, playful touch is a great sign. This could be anything from affectionately touching your arm, hugging you, or placing their hand on your back as you walk out the door. Whatever the case may be, if you want to open up the door for this, try keeping your hands within reaching distance, like flat on the table.

11. They mirror your behavior

Lastly, mirroring your behavior is also a good sign. For example, if you lean into them and they follow suit, this might mean they want to be closer to you. Mirroring each other’s behavior is a sure way to establish a connection faster, and means that you’re both on the same page.